Page 89 of Ship of Smoke and Steel

I shake my head. “I like them, but they were Zarun’s people long before they were part of this pack.”

She nods, slowly. There’s a long silence.

“Do you really think we can kill the dredwurm? The four of us?”

“We killed a blueshell and a hammerhead.”

“You killed them, you mean.”

I shrug, uncomfortably. “Honestly? I don’t know. But this could be the best chance we get.”

It sounds like a weak argument, even to me. Why not wait, and look for a better opportunity? Get closer to the Council. If not for the Scholar and his rotting map, I would have agreed. But as it is … if there’s a chance …

“If you think we can do it,” Meroe says, “then I’ll help.”

I want to hug her and swear at her at the same time. Tell her she shouldn’t put so much trust in me. What in the Rot do I know?

She shifts uncomfortably, working her fingers idly through her braids. “What about Zarun?”

“I’ll figure that part out.”

“We’ll be betraying him.”

“Does that bother you?” I cock my head. “You didn’t want to accept his help in the first place.”

“I…” She bites her lip. “I can’t forget what he did the day we got here. That poor girl. But … he’s done everything he promised since then. I don’t like him, but I feel like I can trust him, if that makes any sense.”

“He’s using us, just like we’re using him. We don’t owe him anything.”

“But if he finds out—”

“He’ll kill us.” I feel my fist clench. “Or I’ll have to kill him. But he doesn’t have to find out. I have a plan.”

“Okay,” Meroe says, and the trust in her voice tears at my heart. “When?”

“I’ll get the information from Zarun tonight. We’ll go looking tomorrow morning. We can’t risk someone else getting there first.” I hesitate. “Can you talk to the other two?”

She nods. “They’ll help, I’m certain.”

Of course they’ll help. Berun is half in love with Meroe, and she’s the only friend Aifin has ever had. They’ll do it for her, and she’s doing it for me. Which means it’s all my responsibility.

Rot, rot, rot.

“Okay.” My chest feels tight. “Then we’re on.”

“Okay.” Meroe waits for a moment, looking at me. “Isoka? Are you all right?”

I’m not all right. I’m trying hard not to stare at her, my hands laced together in my lap. I know what I want to say, but it feels like my throat has swollen shut.

“It’s…,” I manage. But that’s all.

Meroe scoots closer, until she’s sitting directly opposite me, our knees touching. She takes my hands in hers and holds them gently.

“I know what this means to you,” she says, still whispering. “Getting off this ship and back to your sister. You’re doing what you have to do, Isoka.”

“I know.” She doesn’t know the half of it. Doesn’t know about Kuon Naga, or the threat hanging over Tori’s head. But I’m suddenly certain that even if she did, she’d understand. “Meroe…”

She’s right there, face inches from mine, her lips slightly parted. All I would have to do is lean forward, put my arms around her.