Page 44 of The Only Way Out Is Up

I sigh. I need to talk to Somi.

My brother is downstairs, taking a quick dinner in his room while Spike minds the bakery. He’s cleaned up much more assiduously than I have, so that you’d never know there was a bust-in except for the lack of furniture. He’s cross-legged on the bed, eating off a tray. I lounge awkwardly in the doorway for lack of anywhere else to sit.

“Hey,” I open unimaginatively.

“Hey,” Somi says, mouth full of mash-bread.

“We haven’t gotten to talk much. How’s the bakery?”

He wiggles a hand back and forth, chewing. “Back up and running, at least. The Clawmarks were careful to leave the equipment alone.”

“No point breaking the stuff we need to make money for them, I guess.”

He nods. “Everyone knows we got hit, though. It’s scared some folks off.”

“Shit.” I blow out a breath. “Did Ameliana look at Spike?”

“Yeah. She’ll be all right, thank the moon.” He looks up at me. “Your… thing. You want to talk about it?”

I try not to bristle. I’m not here to start another fight. “Not really.”

“But it went… well?”

“So far.”

“Spike said you were on Malkuth.”

“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “I’m going back up tomorrow morning.”

I wait for him to chastise me, to tell me I’m taking too many risks, to ask pointed questions. Instead he takes another bite of his bread, chews, and swallows.

“Okay,” he says eventually.

“I may be a little while,” I say, like someone probing a broken tooth with a tongue. Waiting for the pain.

“Okay.”

“I’ll try to send word back.”

“Okay.”

“How long until we need to make our next payment to Rekas?”

“Three weeks.”

“I’ll have some money before then.” I’ll have to.

He nods slowly. He looks older, somehow, as though he’s aged ten years in a few days.

“Somi…” I trail off, not sure how to say, Why aren’t you screaming at me? We’ve been together a long time, though, and sometimes words aren’t necessary between us.

“You were right,” he says.

“I usually am,” I say, lightning-fast sibling reflex. “What about?”

“What you said the night Rekas’s thugs came. You can handle yourself. We do need the money. For a long time I thought, if I just worked hard enough, it would always come out right in the end. Fara used to say things like that. But it’s not true, is it?”

“No. Sometimes the world stomps on your face and there isn’t shit you can do about it.” I shrug uncomfortably. “You just do what you can. Fara knew that, too. When things got bad she’d do… whatever she had to.”