Page 153 of Matteo

A sharp and twisted silence follows, and there's nothing else to say. He walks past me. I almost get up and rush to him, but find the restraint to stay seated.

“Matteo!”

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. Please, just give me the space I need.”

Chapter 36

ELIZABETH

Vlad and Valentina are getting married.

We're in a beautiful historic stone church, with sunlight pouring through the stained-glass windows and my friend is getting his happy ever after, and I should be happy.

I am, I tell myself.

Even if my own relationship is in tatters.

Intrusive thoughts gnaw into my brain, and tension coils in my stomach. I can't enjoy the beautiful wedding taking place in front of me.

Beside me Matteo is silent and distant, like he has been all morning. I glance at him quickly only to find him staring ahead at the stained-glass window, not watching the ceremony. It feels like he’s checked out of this place, this event, this vacation, and is just sitting beside me, distant and detached, like a bodyguard, not my lover.

He doesn't trust me because he seems convinced that I have something to do with the tech issues at work.

Me.

My mind's been spinning furiously ever since he broke the news and I’ve been trying to figure out who could have used my credentials and tried to mimic me. The possibilities loop around in my head, while I stare at Vlad and Valentina exchanging vows. It’s romantic and beautiful, but I stare at them blankly, my mind elsewhere.

A burst of applause jolts me back to the present. The newlyweds share a kiss and moments later they’re walking hand in hand down the aisle, smiling as family and friends rise to their feet around them.

Something heavy sinks in my chest.

They look so happy.

So certain.

Standing beside Matteo, I don't know if we're about to fall apart.

Takumi and the others have split off into their own little groups. People have made friends but Matteo and I aren’t attached to the crowd. We keep our distance away from everyone else.

It really does feel like we're at a funeral.

Soon after, the arranged transport takes us to the reception which takes place in a historic courtyard overlooking the sea. The evening is warm and the salty air and music drift across the terrace. Wine and champagne flow, canapes arrive, glasses clink and laughter rolls out into the evening sky. It’s everything a happy wedding party should be.

During all this, Matteo and I stand on the edges, looking on like we don't belong, like we've accidentally joined the wrong event.

I'm emotionally exhausted. A sideways glance at Matteo confirms he's still shut down. He's here in body, but that's about it. I can't see things between us improving at all. He stands a few feet away from me in the courtyard, where we're supposed to be mingling with the other guests, but his expression is so grim that nobody dares approach us. Even Takumi hesitated when he caught sight of us.

When we take our allotted places at the beautifully dressed dinner table ablaze with flowers and candles in glass containers, I'm relieved to find that we're not sitting with anyone from the gang. Vlad must have understood.

Neither of us knows the other couples on our table, and with Matteo's face looking like thunder, no one talks to us.

But my heart bleeds with misery, sitting here in a beautiful setting, on an otherwise idyllic evening. We’ve just finished the first course. Matteo barely touched his food, opting instead for another beer.

He turns to me, his eyes meeting mine for the first time since we sat down. “I'm leaving, now. I've decided to go and see my mom earlier than planned.”

The words hit me like a physical blow. Everything I've just eaten seems to plummet inside my stomach. I almost drop my wine glass. Around us, the guests at the table, the flowers, candles and platters of food, all blur out of focus.

“W-what did you say?” Surely I misheard.