“You knew.”
“Yes.”
“And you said nothing.”
“I was confirming the adoption trail and watching the household before Kalinin realized anyone had found it.”
The household. My pulse gives one violent beat.
“You know where my son is.”
Aleksander doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need to.
“You decided what I was allowed to know.”
For the first time since I’ve known him, he looks like a man waiting to be sentenced.
“Yes.”
My anger sharpens. Good. I can use sharp. “You did exactly what he does.”
The words enter the room and alter its shape. Aleksander doesn’t look away.
“I was trying to stop him from moving your son before we controlled the route.”
“That doesn’t change what you did.”
“No.”
“You thought I couldn’t handle the truth.”
“I thought the moment you knew where he was, you would run toward him.”
“I would have.”
He does not insult me by commenting on that.
“So you decided for me.”
“Yes.”
The answer comes quieter this time. “I was wrong.”
I had been ready to fight his justification. The absence of one leaves me with nowhere to put the next blow.
Then Aleksander says, “I know what Yuri found. I don’t know what happened to you.”
He doesn’t ask me to tell him. I do anyway.
Maybe because he didn’t ask. Maybe because the not-asking is the first time anyone with power over my life has left the choice entirely mine.
I take one breath I don’t quite trust to be steady.
“I was twenty. My son’s father was Mark Callahan. He was studying medicine.” My grip tightens around the phone. “We met at NYU. He said he would follow me anywhere.”
The memories arrive too clearly. Mark laughing beneath summer rain. Mark dancing beside me at open-air concerts. Mark reading in bed. Mark pressing his hand against my stomach before there was anything to feel.
“We were crazy in love.”