Page 23 of Catching Sparkles

“It’s Rebecca’s week to pick the book,” she mused, referring to my mom. “I like her weeks. She always picks something spicy.”

“Spicy?” I repeated, confused.

“You know,” she insisted, before leaning in closer to me and wiggling her eyebrows in an obviously suggestive way. “Spicy.”

“Gross,” I said, realizing now what she meant. I didn’t want to think about my mom drooling over some fictional cowboy ripping open women’s bodices or whatever.

Mrs. Crawford’s amused laughter followed me, ringing in my ears, as I made my way to the door.

THE NEXT DAY, I piled into the car with Benjamin and Josie and rode about a half hour over to what we considered the big city. It wasn’t New York or Los Angeles but compared to Cherryvale, it was.

When I very casually asked if we were picking up Kendall on the way, Josie informed me that Keke had taken a Lyft over hours ago to help set up some things. When I wondered why he’d taken a Lyft instead of his own car, Benjamin snorted from the driver’s seat and Josie chuckled from the passenger’s seat, glancing back at me for a moment with her eyes dancing.

“Well, he doesn’t want to have to worry about leaving his car if he ends up, you know, going to a guy’s house and spending the night.”

“Oh.”

My stomach pitched as I realized I really, really didn’t like that idea, then it squirmed with dread when I thought about how insane that was. He’d already given me a pity blowjob. He didn’t owe me anything, and he didn’t belong to me. He was a single, consenting, gay 24-year-old trying to go out and have fun during a pride event. There was nothing wrong with that.

And regardless, I was straight. And he was a guy. So it didn’t matter to me what he did and who he hooked up with, anyway. I’d only gone to him in my time of need because he was so… Warm. And empathetic. And sweet. And I’d known he wouldn’t turn me down or laugh in my face. And I’d been desperate for attention, which I knew he would give me. It didn’t mean I was into guys or anything, just because the only person in my life who I wanted attention from at the moment was a guy. That was just a stroke of bad luck on my part.

My entire life was a series of strokes of bad luck. I was ready for the dark cloud that had been following me for years to finally disperse and give me a fucking break, but no such luck so far. Maybe when my divorce was actually finalized. Maybe.

We arrived and parked in the insanely crowded parking garage, following the crowds of people headed to the same place we were. There were several blocks barricaded off for the festivities and even the little local park was decked out with booths selling pride merch, food vendors, and local businesses who had presumably helped sponsor the event. It was just as loud, crowded, and annoying as I’d feared, but at least everyone was smiling and having a good time. The parade wasn’t for a few more hours, but we milled around looking at the art and colorful displays for a bit.

I very quickly started to notice that a lot of the guys that were hanging around and seemed to be involved with the event were handsome, fit, and very clearly and openly queer. That was probably the pool of guys Kendall would be picking from to hook up with after all the events were said and done. I was glad I’d taken Benjamin’s advice and dressed for hot weather in running shorts and a tank top that showed off my physique.

Wait. No. These guys weren’t my competition. It didn’t matter if I looked good or not. I wasn’t cruising around the pride event looking for someone to hook up with, and I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I was there to support my brother’s friend, support the community, and pretend to have fun. Easy.

But as the minutes passed, it nagged at me. It didn’t matter. Kendall could do what he wanted. The last thing he needed was some divorced, jobless loser hanging around analyzing him and ruining his fun. The last thing I needed was the human version of a glittery sunshine bomb hanging around giving me random boners with his compliments.

“Hey, I’m going to… look around a little bit,” I piped up, while Josie and my brother were waiting in line at an artisan booth that sold pride-branded baby items like pacifiers and onesies. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“You sure?” Benjamin asked, and I held up my phone.

“Just text me when you want to meet back up. Or I’ll text you,” I added, and they both agreed.

Making my way through the dense crowd of people, my eyes scanned over everyone as efficiently as I could. Under normal circumstances, Kendall would stand out and be easy to spot but in a place like this… His unnatural hair and general sparkly demeanor wasn’t exactly a rare commodity.

After a few minutes of fruitless searching, I felt a large hand clap down on my shoulder.

“Free sticker?”

I turned around to see a woman with huge blonde hair, lots of bright makeup, and an outfit to rival any modern day pop star. She probably would have been just about my height, but her wild platform heels forced me to tilt up my chin to stare into her face. She was clutching a stack of sticker sheets in her hands, covered in various colorful flags.

“Ah, no,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “I’m not gay. Or… whatever those other colors mean.”

The corner of her bright red lips perked up and she gave me a tiny, slightly condescending nod.

“Alright, sweetie. You look lost. Let me help.”

“I’m not,” I denied. The collection of pins on her ample chest had sayings like drag queens do it better and suck it in and tuck it in on them. “I’m just looking for a friend.”

“What kind of friend are you looking for, handsome?” She wondered, twirling a lock of her shiny hair around her finger. “We’ve got leather daddies, gym bunnies, corporate finance gays…” She trailed off after gesturing to various groups in our line of sight. “Or maybe you’re looking for a lady friend. Like me. I’m Dolly, by the way.”

Clearing my throat, I resisted the urge to wince. I wasn’t small, but it looked feasible that she could bench press me if she wanted to.

“N-no, I mean I’m looking for someone that’s already my friend. He’s here and I want to talk to him.”