Page 33 of Catching Sparkles

“Do you want kids?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I’d mentioned that I wanted kids when we’d talked in the owl room back at the cabin, but he hadn’t really confirmed or denied for himself.

"Uh…” He paused, running a hand over a pale blue changing table with a pair of swans delicately carved into it. “I did at one point. I imagined I’d be married for a couple years, and then start a family. But with Hailey… I don’t know,” he finished. “We just fought all the time, and it started to feel like I was failing at marriage. If I couldn’t hack it as a husband, I shouldn’t even think about trying to be a dad.”

“I think you’d make a great dad,” I stated, but he only shrugged a shoulder.

“I don’t know. I don’t really think about it anymore.”

I hated the resignation in his voice, but let it drop to keep from totally killing the mood. The day was supposed to be about baby Benjosie, anyway.

“Oh man, I have to get this,” he said, as we strolled through the section of the store with clothes. It was a brown onesie with thick white laces on the front, to make the baby look like a football.

“We don’t know if the baby’s going to be a boy or not,” I said, and he slowly turned away from the massive wall of baby clothes to give me an incredulous look.

“Girls can play football too, Sparkles.”

Surprised by the serious tone in his voice, and the way I’d instinctively and automatically leaned into heteronormative gender roles, I winced.

“You’re right. I’m so canceled. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Snorting, he regarded me dryly as he dropped the onesie into our little cart.

“Just try and do better in the future. I won’t tolerate that kind of closed-minded thinking. I’ve been to a pride parade, you know.”

Covering my mouth with my hand, I tried to stifle the laugh bubbling out of my mouth so we wouldn’t disturb the other people milling around the store.

“Oh yeah? And what did you do at the pride parade?” I wondered, and he dragged his tongue around his teeth, his dark brow popping up as he considered.

“Parade stuff,” he answered simply, the corner of his perfectly sculpted mouth quivering as he struggled to keep from joining me in my laughing fit.

“Sounds really fun.”

“It was great,” he confirmed. “Certain parts do stick out more in my mind than others, though.”

“You should elaborate on that,” I invited. He glanced around to see that we were nowhere near being alone before clearing his throat.

“No, I shouldn’t,” he assured me.

But the fact that I knew without question he was thinking about what we’d done in the alley had a naughty little spark blooming up in my stomach. I pushed it away, trying to ignore it. At least while we were surrounded by baby furniture and expectant moms.

I explained that Benji and Josie were doing the nursery colors in yellow and pale grey, and used my advantageous knowledge of the registry to steer him in the direction of stuff she still needed. I’d been waiting to get my gift for them, hoping to fill in a gap of something someone else hadn’t already claimed, so when Rhys suggested we coordinate on a few things, I loved the idea.

We settled on a pretty grey rug with a bold yellow moon and stars pattern on it, a sleek and modern grey dresser that we scheduled to have delivered to the Kensington house, and a lamp that couldn’t have been more perfect, with a pattern of baby elephants and fat yellow balloons printed around the shade. And the football onesie.

“It’s going to be kind of hard to split this stuff up into what’s from me and what’s from you,” I noted, while Rhys transferred half the cost of everything to me via an app on his phone.

“We’ll just put it all from both of us,” he said casually, his eyes still locked down on his screen as he tapped through the process. When he was done, he raised his head, his blue eyes questioning. “Unless… You think that’s weird? We don’t have to do it like that. I just thought it’d be easier.”

“No!” I said quickly, and he instantly looked relieved. The way my reassurance and validation affected him sometimes… It made me feel like I was the only person in the world. Like I could give him everything he’d ever need to be happy and satisfied and fulfilled. “That’s a good idea. And it’s not weird. I mean, we shopped together. Benji already knows that, so…”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Not weird. We’re the uncles.”

It wasn’t exactly an uncles thing to do, giving the gifts from both of us. It was a couple thing to do, and we both knew that. No one would suspect anything at the party, but I would know.

All of these tiny, domestic things were starting to make my chest feel like it was stuffed full of fluffy cotton candy. Like the fact that he’d still never given my spare key back. He hadn’t used it yet, but… He had access to me. Whenever he wanted or needed. He knew it and I knew it.

It was quiet for a bit as we carried our stuff out, minus the dresser that wouldn’t fit in the backseat of my small car, and carefully stowed everything away. I wasn’t exactly ready to take him back home yet, as selfish as it was. But I also wasn’t clueless enough to think he was in any rush to be away from me either.

I’d started having thoughts about actually keeping Rhys, of somehow convincing him that we were perfect together, at the parade. And they were only getting more and more intense. Maybe I was just being delusional, but… I wasn’t a moron, either. He probably hadn’t admitted it to himself yet but it was more than a fleeting attraction between us. More than sexual chemistry. He was seeking me out, making excuses to be in my company. He didn’t have any interest in going out with Brie again, or anyone else that had tried reconnecting with him. I was the one he was thinking about all the time. Texting all the time.