Page 66 of Catching Sparkles

“No,” I answered quickly, before some part of my face could give away the fact that he already knew him. Very, very well, in fact. “Not yet, I mean.”

“Because?”

“He’s… Not ready.”

Benji groaned, letting his skull fall onto the back cushion of the couch. “Come on, not another one of these clowns.”

“Benji,” I warned him sternly. We’d had this conversation before. He hated when I messed around with closeted guys. And to his credit, it had never worked out for me before. “It’s different with this guy.”

“You’ve said that before.”

“I know,” I assured him. “I know, and I can’t explain it. But I just… It’ll work out. I know it will. I need it to.”

“You need it to? What, are you in love with this guy or something?” He scoffed, looking kind of amused at his own rhetorical question before his eyes narrowed. “You’re not in love with some loser who won’t even meet your friends and family. Right?”

“Benji.”

He groaned, squeezing his eyes closed. “I know! I’m sorry. I’m privileged. It’s not safe for some people to come out. I get it. But do you have to, like… Reward them?”

“I’m not rewarding him. I’m sympathetic to his situation. And I know you won’t believe me, and it’s okay, but it is different this time.”

The silence stretched out between us, but I knew he was just absorbing the information and deciding how he would feel about it.

“Do you think that he’ll eventually want to be out with you?” He finally asked, and my pulse skipped.

It was easy to believe it with absolutely no reservations, as long as I didn’t think about it too much. But would Rhys eventually want to be out with me? Would he be willing to turn his life upside down and deal with the negative consequences of being known as a queer guy, in a relationship with another guy? It would be so much easier for him if he just moved on from me and got with some girl, but… I knew he didn’t really want that.

He’d been too honest lately about how relaxed he felt with me, and how he could be open with me about stuff he’d never told anyone before. I knew he belonged with me. I just had to convince him that it was worth the hassles he’d have to face.

“Yeah,” I said, hoping my real voice sounded as convincing as the voice in my head. “He just needs time.”

Benji seemed to accept my answer, though he didn’t look thrilled. I didn’t even want to think about how un-thrilled he would be when he inevitably found out that Rhys was the guy I’d been pining over. Definitely a problem for future Kendall and future Kendall only.

“I just want you to be happy,” he said, reaching out to put a hand on the top of my skull before tapping his forehead against mine. “You know I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I just want you to be happy. And to hurry up and get married and adopt my kid’s future best friend.”

I huffed out a laugh, and nodded. “Noted. I’m working on it.”

“If you don’t, then my only chance to be an uncle is to Rhys’ kids, and… Well,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. “Let’s just say I’m not too confident about all that. Unless he does something stupid and knocks some girl up by accident.”

I made a sound of neutral assent, only because I knew it would be suspicious for me to defend him in that moment. But I happened to know there was pretty much a zero percent chance of that happening anytime soon. Hopefully ever.

“Anyway,” Benji went on, clapping a hand down on my shoulder. “Let’s go out back. You’ve been hiding out in here like a damn vampire or something.”

So I followed him out into the crowd of our friends and family, and had a lovely little rest of the evening. And if my eyes wandered over to Rhys too much, usually catching him staring back at me when I did, then I was sure probably no one noticed.

RHYS

I LEFT CHERRYVALE High with an odd cocktail of emotions sloshing around inside me. On one hand, I was filled with excitement for how perfectly suited I would be for the job of football coach. And they needed one bad. Principal Sanchez had even gone so far as showing me the team records and overall stats for the last few years, and I’d nearly winced in pain.

She’d been Ms. Sanchez when I’d been in school, my science teacher for three out of my four years at Cherryvale High. She’d been around for my run as quarterback, both JV and varsity, and had seen what I’d accomplished, including the standing record for touchdown passes in a season.

She’d explained that if I could get the team on track, they could secure a lot more funding for the sports department with ticket sales, concession and merch revenue, and community fundraising. My presence would be a massive help not only to the football team, but the other sports teams that could use help with funding, and it’d free up scheduling issues for the staff who’d been temp covering. I’d have other duties assigned to me, mostly handling inventory of equipment, field maintenance, fundraising, and administrative stuff like running study halls. But I really didn’t mind the sound of any of that.

Basically, I’d be important. They needed me. It was embarrassing, because I knew it was mostly my ego talking, but the idea of being somewhere I could actually make a difference and be more than a number in a sea of cubicles was just so appealing. I’d never felt that way about a job before. The words Kendall had said to me, about not having to be miserable at a job, echoed in my head as I stuck my key in the ignition of my dad’s car to head home. I hadn’t exactly believed him in that moment, but… Maybe it was possible.