Page 68 of Catching Sparkles

“Nope,” he said easily. “You’re a grown man. I figure you know what you’re doing.”

I grunted, taking another sip from my beer. “Mom’s been hounding me night and day about it.”

He snorted, giving me a sidelong glance. But he was grinning. “Yeah, she tends to do that.”

It was quiet for a bit, just the sound of the commentators on the TV making observations about the players, until I finally decided I would ask what I’d been wanting to ask him.

“You met Mom in college, right?”

“Right.”

“But you, like, dated other people before her. Didn’t you?”

He chuckled a little. “Sure. Of course. I didn’t do too bad for myself back in the day, believe it or not.”

I believed it. He was a good looking guy, even now. And he’d been a track runner in high school and college.

“So how’d you know… when to stop? Like, how did you know she was the one you wanted to be with for real?”

He pursed his lips for a few moments, like he was thinking. “Well, I guess it was because I had a hard time imagining a future without her. In other words, I could imagine other girls I’d dated in the future, if I made myself think about it. But she was the one that I didn’t have to make myself imagine it with, you know what I mean? And if I did ever think about it without her, it didn’t feel so hot. Basically, if she wasn’t there I didn’t want it.”

“… Yeah,” I said, letting out a deep sigh. “I get what you mean.”

I didn’t know what to say about that, or how I really felt. I’d been thinking about Kendall all the time lately, but honestly I was having trouble imagining what my future would be like at all, with or without him or anyone else.

“Hey, did you fix that leaky faucet in the guest bathroom?” He asked suddenly, like he’d only just remembered.

“Yeah. The cartridge in the handle was worn out. It was easy to change.”

He nodded, looking impressed. “Thanks.”

“I took out the old weatherstripping around the windows and the front door and replaced it too,” I said, smirking when he gave me an incredulous expression. “It was pretty bad. It’ll save you a lot of money on the energy bill when winter rolls around.”

“Alright,” he said, popping his eyebrows up. “I’ll take your word for it. I appreciate it. This place might fall to ruin once you’re out of here again.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that,” I said, scratching the back of my head before throwing back the rest of my beer. “I’ll be staying close.”

“Cherryvale doesn’t seem so bad anymore, huh?” He asked, giving me a sly look.

Snorting, I stood up and shook my head as I tossed the empty can in the trash. “I’m going to head out. Tell Mom I said goodnight and everything.”

“Sure I will. And what I won’t tell her is all this how do you know when you love someone stuff,” he teased, and I coughed, feeling my face heat up. “Becks would really have a cow if she knew you were thinking about that.”

“I didn’t say I was,” I denied. “I was just curious.”

“Right,” he responded, sarcasm dripping from the single syllable. “Be safe, lover boy.”

The sound of his laughter followed me all the way to the front door.

I TOOK MY time on the walk, listening to music through my wireless earbuds to drown everything else out. As the songs transitioned from one classic rock song to the next, I thought about all the times I’d listened to Kendall’s playlist in the car with him. Show tunes and poppy club bangers. It felt unbelievable, but they were growing on me.

I knew I needed to focus on the more immediate issue of what I was going to do about this job thing, but it all felt like too much. I decided to let it stew for a bit, and then revisit it, probably with Kendall, when I felt equipped to make a more informed decision. Maybe I’d go and talk to the recruiter guy my dad knew, just so I had all the information on both options. But the thought of doing that made my stomach churn.

At Kendall’s apartment I let myself in with my spare key, as I’d done plenty of times by that point. We’d fallen into a lot of comfortable habits, something I couldn’t say was exactly common for me. Even in my marriage, there’d always been some level of… expectation? Maybe that wasn’t the right word. But I could relax with Kendall in a way I didn’t always feel comfortable doing with other people. Being with him was like being in a little bubble of safety where I didn’t have to worry about being judged.

I pocketed my key, and stretched my arms above my head, basking in the cool air-conditioning and sweet fragrance. No matter how many nights I’d slept over, the aromatherapy stuff he was always refilling was so pleasant. He wasn’t back from the movies yet, so everything was quiet.

I figured I’d take a shower and rinse off the sweat from the walk, but before I could head to the bathroom, my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out, Hailey’s name on my screen had irritation rushing through my whole body. She wasn’t even supposed to be calling me. That’s what we were paying lawyers for. Still, part of me must have been a glutton for punishment, because I slammed my thumb onto the accept button before I could talk myself out of it.