Page 113 of Colliding with Ten

“You sure? Most of your throws today have been a little late. I’ve been slowing my run to catch them.”

“I’m good, Jace.”

He held my eyes, not believing me. But he knew when to leave me alone, and this was one of those times. I wanted to get back to loving football, because it was the only thing that had never let me down.

He nodded and lined up. I called the snap and put the next ball where it needed to be. See, I could do my job. Maybe that was the lesson. Football had never left me wondering where I stood. People did. I wasn’t making that mistake again. I still wanted a championship. Rings didn’t wake up one morning and decide they were better off without you.

After reps, I went to the cold tub and submerged myself. The shock of the temperature stole my breath. Sitting there, I thought about the time I made her an ice bath. I shivered, remembering the sound she made when she first touched the water and called me a monster, chuckling while she did.

Okay, I just needed to know she got home safe. That was all I was asking for. I checked my phone when I got out. Still nothing.

By afternoon, I was back in the film room for another session, this time with the offensive coordinator walking through the full game plan of protection calls, route combinations, third-down conversions, and everything else we expected to see on Sunday.

The chemistry with my receivers was good. Thirteen weeks of building trust, learning their speed off the line, and the subtle tells that signaled they were getting open before they were, and I knew our team was ready. The defense was peaking and healthy. This was the year. I could feel it. So who cares what was happening in my personal life?

At five-thirty, I got back to my car and sat in the parking lot before starting the engine. I took out my phone and looked at the text one more time.

I almost stayed.

I thought about what it would mean to type back. It would take ten seconds and less effort than the hours I spent today not sending anything. This is why dating women was the distraction I was trying to avoid. I put the phone in my pocket, started the car, and pulled out of the lot. Maybe tomorrow.

I had a championship to win. I was going to think about that instead. I thought about it almost the entire drive home. The other thing got about forty percent. That was progress.

26

DOUBLE WORK

AYLA

The apartment smelled like garlic. AJ had been cooking again; it was his favorite seasoning. His sneakers were by the door. The remote was on the arm of the couch, at the exact angle he always left it. Nothing had changed. But I had.

I stood in the doorway with my hair in the same twisted bun I’d made in Lennox’s bathroom ten hours ago. I wore yesterday’s clothes and hadn’t showered, a fact that horrified me since I realized it somewhere over Arizona. I’d had incredible, life-altering sex. Then I tiptoed out of that man’s house, boarded a plane, and flew across the country without a bar of soap touching my body. Yuck. I was a walking crime scene. I needed a shower before anyone got close enough to⁠—

“Ayla?”

Shit. AJ’s voice came from the kitchen, and I heard the fridge close.

“Hey,” I called back, aiming for casual, the tone of a woman who had spent the night doing nothing noteworthy.

He appeared in the hallway, worried. “Where the hell have you been?”

“I told you. I went to visit a friend.”

“You sent me a two-word text and turned your phone off. I called you six times.”

“My phone died.” This was a lie. I powered it down to avoid this conversation. I dropped my bag on the couch and moved to the kitchen, keeping at least three feet between us. Maybe four. He didn’t need to be within smelling distance of me.

He followed me. “You missed the team flight. I thought you’d be on the red-eye after.”

He eyed me with suspicion and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “Which friend?”

I opened the fridge, so he couldn’t see my face. “A friend that I met after you went to Michigan. You don’t know them.”

“I know all your friends.”

“You know all my old friends. I’ve made new ones, AJ. People grow and make connections outside their brother’s social circle.”

I peeked over the door. He narrowed his eyes, probably running through every friend I’d ever mentioned. I turned back to the fridge, pretending to look for something and hoping he wouldn’t step closer.