Page 163 of Colliding with Ten

She took a breath. “He’s having difficulty. Although he doesn’t say so, he is. He’s not eating much and is rearranging the kitchen again. He watches film until two in the morning and is going through the motions, but he misses you.

“He looks at your photos on the fridge every morning,” Meadow continued, smiling. “The ones from the beach over the summer, and the one of you two at his first start. And one day I found him in your room just staring”

My chest squeezed.

“Micah came over to see him the day after you left. I don’t think AJ was expecting it.”

“What did he say?” I asked.

“He told AJ what he told you. That any defensive coordinator with a television could have built that game plan, and that you didn’t leak anything. And then he put AJ in his place.”

“How?”

“He told AJ he was punishing his sister for falling in love and treating it as a football problem because he didn’t want to admit that he was scared of losing you.”

That must have been tough for AJ to hear.

“AJ didn’t take it well. He pushed back and got defensive. You could almost hear the walls going up, but Micah didn’t budge. And then he said, ‘I’m the one whose ankle got targeted, and I’m telling you Ayla is not at fault here. So who are you mad at?’”

I pressed my hand to my mouth, shocked that Micah took it there.

“AJ had nothing to say after that. He sat on the couch for about an hour. Then he got up and reorganized the spice rack again.”

I laughed because that was my brother, processing huge emotional information by relocating cumin. I missed him.

“I think Lennox’s press conference changed a lot of things too, but he won’t talk about it.”

“Is he going to accept my apology?”

“He’s not there yet. He’s still hurt. The lie is the thing he can’t get past, but I think he wants to.”

I nodded. Since we were children, it had never been easy for AJ to admit he was wrong. He was stubborn, but I knew that if it was worth it, he would work on it. And I had things to apologize for, too.

“Give him a little more time. He’ll get there. He loves you more than he’s stubborn.”

She reached into the paper bag and pulled out a croissant. I took one too, turning it over in my hands and pulling at the layers.

My mind was still in that apartment on that night. “Meadow.”

She looked up.

“I keep asking about AJ. But I haven’t asked about you.”

Her hand paused on her coffee. The warmth she’d walked in with went still. “I’m fine.”

“Are you? You were standing right there when he blew up . . .” I stopped myself as the moment replayed. AJ’s face. The sound that came out of him. “You were scared.”

Meadow set her coffee down. She placed both hands flat on the table, pressing her fingers against the surface to calm herself. “It wasn’t about me.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Her finger made circles around the rim of her cup, the same way AJ did. They’d picked up each other’s habits. “I’ve never seen him like that. I didn’t recognize him.”

There was no doubt in my mind that Meadow had been afraid. I’d been too.

“I didn’t leave because I know it’s not who he is,” she continued. “But I didn’t sleep that night. The next morning, he told me it had gotten out of hand. He apologized again.”

Meadow looked at me. She was losing composure, and my anger toward my brother flared. “He said he didn’t mean for it to get that bad and that things got away from him. He told me it wouldn’t happen again, and I believe him.”