Page 64 of Circus From Hell

But right now, I feel dishevelled, starved, sloppy.

Like I’m going to snap.

“Look at you, trying to grasp for a semblance of control. I had no idea you were so pathetic when you were hungry.”

He takes the tip of the syringe and drags it across his wrist, not pressing in any liquid but drawing blood.

The moment the scent hits my nose and the blood beads beneath my eyes, I lose it all.

My jaw cracks with how wide and quickly I open it, but Spiral shifts out of the way and stabs the needle into my neck. I immediately feel the liquid seeping into my body like ice has been injected into my electric veins. I barrel forward with the force of my own movements and spin, locating a wide-smiling Spiral behind me.

He waves the syringe before running off in the direction of the forest. I put one foot forward, ready to chase, but my leg wobbles and my vision spins.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

What was in that tube?

My whole body feels like it’s both on fire and in a bath of ice.

“Catch me if you can!” His voice bounces around my head, echoing like a torment.

I feel fuzzy. Light. Like when I take a step, I’m walking on air. The bases of my feet are numb, as if I’m not even moving, but I am. I’m running. Faster and faster.

Am I?

No. I’m not.

I’m slow. Too slow. He’s getting away.

My doubling vision crosses into one for a moment, and I see the back of Spiral’s white and black jumpsuit entering the dark forest.

Movement slams into me. I start running, start feeling, start hunting. The electricity within me burns hotter, fuelling my movements, and I’ve never been so determined for anything.

To fuck Spiral.

Shit, no. To kill Spiral.

Kill. Kill. Kill.

The dark world is a kaleidoscope of colours. I stop at the edge of the forest, and I think the trees are talking to me. They’re mocking me. Telling me to find him. To fuck him. To kill him.

I can’t hear anything clearly, like my ears are submerged in water, and I can’t smell anything aside from dirt and greenery.

“I’ll find you,” I shriek, louder than any sound I’ve ever made. I’m supposed to be quiet—Kreo taught me how—but my footsteps echo in the distance like a reverberating pound, bouncing back to my ears and making my vision vibrate with each one.

“Oh, Karma! My cocks are waiting for you! I’m right here. C’mon, girl, you can find me.”

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

It feels like someone is inside my head, banging their fists against the shell.

“Who knew the dead girl was so bad at hide and seek? Find me, fuck me, and kill me. Or you lose.”

I force myself deeper into the forest despite my body aching to turn around and run into the city, to sink my teeth into the flesh of the first person I find. I need to locate Spiral. If I eat him, I’ll feel all better, right? This horrible, out-of-control feeling will disappear, and I’ll be normal again.

Normal? You’re not normal.

You’re dead but alive.