Page 37 of Bluebell Tides

“I can try,” Sophie breathed. “I mean, I have to.”

The court date was set for three days from their arrival, which gave Dina and Sophie plenty of time to rehearse and strategize. After dinner, Dina drove them the rest of the way to the cabin they’d rented not far from where the court case would play out. From the back porch, they could see the shadowy mountains just beyond. The air was thick with the smell of Douglas firs. Sophie sat on a rocking chair with a mug of tea, closed her eyes, and took in how beautiful this area was. It was the place she’d fallen in love with when she’d first looked at colleges. She remembered telling Celia, “This is where I’ll learn to protect the planet.”

Oh, she’d been wrong about that. She hadn’t even been able to protect herself.

Soon, Celia, Ruth, and Dina joined Sophie on the porch. They sipped tea or wine and sat in silence, looking at the moon as it glowed over the treetops. Sophie ached with a sorrow she couldn’t fully name.

Celia looked at Ruth. “How does it feel to be out of Bluebell?”

Ruth made a sound in her throat. “It’s a sense of freedom I forgot was possible.”

Celia smiled. “Why would you go back?”

Ruth hesitated. Her eyes flashed to Dina, who raised her hands. It was clear that Dina knew more than either Celia or Sophie, but that she’d been sworn to secrecy.

“That’s our Ruth,” Dina said now. “She’s never known how to open up to anyone, not even her best friends.”

Ruth’s cheeks were pink. Sophie wondered what it was like to have a friend like Dina, to have someone who knew you better than you knew yourself.

“I’ll wrap my mind around the story,” Ruth offered tentatively. “I need to think about it. And I don’t want to distract Sophie from what’s going on here.”

“It’s not a distraction,” Sophie assured her.

“Ruthie,” Dina said gently. “You have to let people in.”

Ruth closed her eyes. Her rocking chair creaked beneath her. And for a beautiful moment, Sophie thought she could see exactly what Ruth had looked like as a young woman at Yale.

And then, Ruth began to explain herself.

Finally, she began to speak of Sloane, of all she’d lost.

All Dina, Sophie, and Celia could do was listen.

20

Winter of 2023

Warning Sloane about her boyfriend, Jimmy, was perhaps the worst mistake of Ruth’s life, which was saying something, given the mistakes she’d made over the years. Before Ruth knew what to make of it, before she knew to apologize and fully wash away the distrust between them, Sloane was all packed up and headed back to Yale. The Manhattan apartment was vacuous, echoey. Ruth cursed herself for not fixing things when she had the chance. But Dina, Kelly, and Reese told Ruth she was overreacting and that Sloane would come back to her. She always would.

When Ruth tried to call her that first week, Sloane’s new friends told her via the dorm’s hallway phone that Sloane wasn’t in, that she was studying at the library. When they kept telling Ruth that over the second, third, and fourth weeks, Ruth began to get the hint that her daughter didn’t want anything to do with her. Sloane was angry.

Ruth was too embarrassed to tell her friends how bad it had gotten.

Ruth prayed that Sloane’s anger would dissipate. She wrote numerous letters that she didn’t feel strong enough to send.

Midway through February, Ruth appeared outside Dina’s office door, sobbing. “She won’t talk to me,” she said. “She’s so angry.”

Dina took Ruth out for drinks and begged her for more information. As Dina liked to say, drawing information out of Ruth was one of the most difficult tricks of all—far more difficult than a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

“When she talked to me about Jimmy, when I heard that he’d been to that party and not invited her, I got so worried,” Ruth sobbed over her cocktail. “I didn’t want the same thing to happen to Sloane that happened to me. After that Christmas in Bluebell Cove, I was mortified, Dina. I knew that I would never stack up next to Quentin’s family friends. I knew I would always be less than.”

Dina hugged Ruth close and urged her to go to Yale to see Sloane in person. But Ruth didn’t want to alienate Sloane even more. “She’s taking the time she needs from me,” Ruth stammered. “She’ll figure out what she wants soon.”

Privately, Ruth hoped that Sloane would realize she wanted nothing to do with any of them, not with Rachel Caldweck, nor with Jimmy, nor with any of the Yale elite. Sloane was far too good for them, too intellectual, too kind, too beautiful. Late at night, Ruth sobbed and sobbed about it. She’d never felt lonelier in her life.

It wasn’t till the end of May, a few weeks after Yale’s semester was finished, that Ruth got a call from her daughter. Sloane’s voice was like a string. “Mom,” she breathed. “Can you come get me?”

Ruth shot to her feet, panic rushing through her. “Of course, sweetie. Are you at Yale?”