Page 114 of Knot Only For One Night

With a huge effort, I control my breathing, my scent, my face, waiting for Neven to speak when he’s ready.

“It expired a few weeks ago. Even if it didn’t, though, I wouldn’t have taken it.”

That isn’t any comfort to Reed, apparently. “How do we know that? How do we know that for sure? What if another opportunity comes up and now you’re gone? What does that mean for our Pack, our bonds? Esper, do you know how painful that’d be for you?”

“He said he wouldn’t have taken it,” I mutter. I have to trust my lead alpha. I nod in his direction, and I see the smallest uptick in his plush lips that solidifies my stance.

“How do we know that?” Reed says again, his voice a desperate plea. His problem hits me like a dump truck, and I nearly gasp at the realization.

Reed is scared. Terrified even.

“Do you trust him? His words? I do. If he says he wouldn’t, he won’t. Neven keeps his word. Just as you would, as Soren and Asher would too. As I do.”

Reed freezes, his eyes bouncing between Neven and me. His hands shake and his eyes are wide. I take a deep breath, hoping he’ll subconsciously follow my lead in doing so, but he doesn’t.

All the fight and anger drains out of me. Leaving only a burning hope I can get through to my omega. “You… you can trust me, Reed."

His shoulders fall, and I think I did.

I think he heard me.

Then he shakes his head. “I don't get that luxury. I’m here. I’ll always be right here.” His words crush nearly every bit of hope I have.

“You do, though, if you allow yourself.” He’s already backing away from me though. He gets to the door, gripping it so hard I think there may be a dent in it.

My heart is tight, like he’s squeezing it just as tightly. Something twisted curls its way in my mind, something close to rejection, again, and I just… I just need him to trust me, us, his Pack.

“Red, this is a good thing, if you let it be,” Asher says, which may have been the wrong thing because Reed's eyes sharpen as they land on him.

“Easy for you to say. You're an alpha. It won’t hurt you like it’d hurt me”—He gestures between him and me—“us.”

“Do you truly believe that?” Neven’s voice cuts through the tension. Reed scoffs, shaking his head as he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

Reed’s an omega in distress. I crave to soothe him, to help him, but I know he won’t let me.

He won’t let anyone.

Tears constrict in my throat. I cast my eyes downward, unable to stare at the spot Reed once took up.

“Esper, listen to me when I say this.” Neven grabs my chin again. More forcefully than before. He can probably see the tears I’m trying to hold back. I know Soren can probably feel them through the bond, but I refuse to acknowledge it.

“The moment I met you, the moment our Pack was born, there was no way I could leave. Any of you. If you’ll have me Esper, when the time is right, I’ll bond you. Reed too, if I have to,” he says and I chuckle, though it comes out harsh and all wrong.

“When will that be?” I ask, feeling all sorts of raw and sensitive.

“Anytime you want, Omega.” So slowly, he leans down, kissing my forehead. My eyes drift to Asher’s.

If I’m going to get pushed away from him too, I may as well get it over with. Neven steps back, the air missing his caramel scent, and Asher takes his spot. Holding my hand instead of my chin. For several minutes, he stands there, not saying anything, and all I can think is, wow, here it comes.

He sighs and his eyes meet mine. “I don't want to hurt you, Moonlight,” Asher says, and heartbreak burns in my throat like fire. I stop myself before the tears fall, giving him a forced nod to continue. “But Red is my omega too, and I need us all together, so sure of ourselves and this connection, it's not a question of if, it's a question of when. So that little spot on your shoulder,” he says, moving his hand from mine to the edge of my shoulder, “is mine. Keep it open for me.”

“I will,” I say, though that's not what I wanted to hear at all. But I understand it. I can’t have a complete bond without Reed, and having everyone’s but his would hurt just as much as having none.

“I think I need my own nest.” I know that's where Reed is right now, and I need… I need a nest right now too.

“Coming right up, Moonlight.”

CHAPTER 38