Page 98 of Heat Lightning

I stopped so quickly he nearly bowled me over. “I gave you a chance to explain. I begged you to tell me the truth, and you didn’t. You never intended to tell me who you are at all, did you?”

“Fuck. Yes, I did. I was going to, I swear. I just⁠—”

“You used me,” I interrupted, a finger poking into his chest. “You fucked me to end a bond you didn’t want, and when it didn’t work, you were going to go back on suppressants and throw me away like trash.”

Gwen came running over. “Max, please. It’s not like that.”

I looked at her. I didn’t recognize the frantic desperation on her face, half in shadow. She was a stranger now, too. “Really?” I said with a cruel laugh. “Why the fuck would I ever believe anything either of you have to say again?”

“I should’ve told you sooner, I know, but⁠—”

“How long have you known him?” I asked, interrupting her. “When you went on and on about trusting my gut with the man who made me feel—” I choked. Safe was so far away, now. How had I been so naive? “How long have you been lying to me?”

They looked at each other. Atlas reached for me. “Max, please⁠—”

I jerked away. “For once in the entire time you’ve known me, could you just answer one fucking question honestly?”

Gwen covered her mouth and turned away.

Atlas’ eyes begged for understanding. “Saint is my brother,” he answered quietly. “And Gwen has been our friend since we were kids.”

Your friend, I mouthed. His friend—not mine.

His friend, who just so happened to work at the clinic he took me to.

His friend, who’d lied to me about what really happened that night.

His friend, who got me this job and my apartment. His friend who broke down my walls and tricked me into believing it was all because she was my friend.

“All of this was a lie from the start,” I whispered, feeling like I saw him, saw them all, in full for the first time. The harsh floodlight was stark and unforgiving. I was just a puppet on strings while they laughed and made me dance.

“No, it wasn’t. I just didn’t know how else to help you, to protect you after what happened,” Atlas said, tears falling.

Betrayal, slimy and thick, clung to me. The stretching silence rang in my ears.

“And the rest?” I asked, barely able to get the words out. “Assigning me a friend? The job? My apartment? Fucking me? When were you going to tell me the truth about that? Have you ever been honest with me about anything?”

Were you honest when you said you loved me?

“Max, you’re every—” his breath hitched, “everything to me. I was going to tell you; I just didn’t know how. With everything that happened, there wasn’t a right time to⁠—”

“There was,” I said, looking back and forth between the two people I’d trusted most in this world. In very different ways, yes, but both were cornerstones of the life I’d fought tooth and nail for. “You could’ve been honest with me. You didn’t have to—to—lie to me. Every fucking day. I thought I got this job because—” I couldn’t finish; my words caught in my throat.

I thought I’d earned it. I thought I’d finally made a life that was for me.

Darkness, the very ilk I’d fought my way out of two years ago, lapped against the edges of my mind, threatening to drown me. I couldn’t look at them anymore and turned away, only for him to step in front of me once more, blocking the path.

“Sweetheart, please⁠—”

“Don’t ever call me that again,” I snarled, pushing past him. “At least Joey had the fucking balls to show who he really was. You couldn’t even do that.”

His expression crumpled. “I never lied to you. Never. I just couldn’t tell you everything. Not yet. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

I let out a hysterical, wet laugh. Didn’t want to hurt me?

His bare face screamed otherwise. It taunted me, poking at every insecure soft spot I had until I lashed out, going for the throat.

“I thought that was true. I thought you’d never hurt me. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You’ve spent your life hurting people. I thought you were different from the monsters you kill, but you’re not. You’re just like them—just like your father. And what’s worse is you’re too much of a fucking coward to see it. I’m only glad I did before it was too late.”