Page 25 of Take Her On

Hannah’s gaze flicked to Maya’s. It wasn’t often Maddie opened up about things or volunteered much information. She usually liked to stay in the background of their conversations. It wasn’t unusual for her to disappear for periods of time in her room if she got overstimulated before joining them again later.

“Has Alex heard from his dad?” Maya asked carefully.

Maddie shook her head. “Not since he first started T.”

Three months into their relationship, Alex had expressed his need to transition. This had thrown Maddie temporarily into a bit of a loop as well. Did staying with Alex mean reassessing her sexual identity? Or would he be an exception to her preferences?

She’d come out of her bedroom a few hours later, simply stating, “I think I’m pansexual then.”

And that was that.

Some things were easier for some people. Others took a lot longer to process. Maya guessed she was the latter.

“I’m sorry he’s still not on speaking terms with his dad,” she said. “That must suck.”

“It does, yeah.” Maddie cast her a glance, and a small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “But what about you? How’s the love life?”

Brilliant diversion tactic. A classic Maddie. Well played. Well played.

“Have you spoken to Carly yet?” Hannah butted in, finishing the last of her beer.

Maya’s heart wilted.

“What’s happened?” Hannah asked. She never missed a thing.

Maya sighed. “Nothing really. I just saw her leaving the pub with Luke Ingle the other night.”

Hannah’s eyes widened. She’d mentioned a few times about what she’d do if she were caught alone in the locker room with him. She probably needed to get laid more than Maya did.

“I’m sorry, Maya. That must hurt.” She placed her empty beer bottle on the floor. Maya braced herself. “But—”

Here we go.

“—if you tell her how you feel, you could stop this masochistic routine you inflict on yourself. It’s been years.”

“I know.” She sighed again, picking at the sticker of her beer. “To be honest. I don’t know if I’d even want to be with her now.”

“What?!”

That caught their attention. They leaned forward, almost knocking the bottle from Maya’s hands.

“You don’t even want to be with her now?” Hannah’s eyebrows rose comically into her forehead, her Scottish accent thickening. “After god knows how many years of pining, did you suddenly wake up this morning and think, nah, she’s not for me, Hannah was right all along?”

Maya let out a laugh. “No, not quite.” When she didn’t elaborate, she felt their stares burn into her face. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I was with her the other night and…I don’t know.”

“And people say I’m bad with words,” Maddie murmured.

But how could Maya explain when she didn’t even know herself? Her feelings for Carly were a blur right now. She couldn’t grasp either end of the tangled strings in her chest to try and make sense of it. She didn’t expect them to understand if she couldn’t.

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” She finished the last of her beer, marking the finality of her statement. There was a beat where nobody said anything. Maddie fiddled with the cuff of her pink, fluffy sleeve.

“Any more news on Jamie?” Hannah asked.

The sudden switch sent a lightning bolt through Maya’s stomach. “Jamie? What do you mean?”

Hannah eyed her curiously. “She was annoying you, right? Has she been causing you any more trouble?”

The feel of Jamie’s touch ghosted across her skin, sending an unwanted shiver up her spine. Maya had tried to push any memory of that evening to the back of her mind. The kindness Jamie had shown her, and the wild disjointed way she’d danced. How she didn’t seem to care what Maya thought about her; she was just herself. Truthfully, Maya was a little envious. She wasn’t sure how to let go like that. She always had something on her mind.