Page 56 of Take Her On

“I’m sorry, I—uh—I’m not good at this.” Maddie flapped her hands, the crease between her eyes deepening. She glanced about the room, as if searching for a quick-fix plaster she could stick over this blubbering woman on her doorstep. “Hannah’s at netball, and I—uh… Wait.” She stopped suddenly, twisting back to face her. “Do you want to use my safe space?”

Maya nodded, and Maddie awkwardly guided her into her bedroom. It was exactly how she remembered it: pictures of Maddie and Alex stuck to the cream walls with Blu-Tack, along with pictures of Maya and Hannah. Maddie’s own artwork was strewn about her desk, a few signature coal sketches pinned behind her headboard. Her soft yellow bedspread was covered in stuffed animals, including a bear with a half-bitten ear that she’d had since she was a toddler. The sight usually made Maya smile; it was such a different aesthetic from the one Maddie showed in her appearance.

But today, Maddie ushered Maya into the corner and pointed for her to sit on her grey beanbag.

Maya sunk down, her body cradled like a big hug, and sighed, becoming one with the chair. Maddie flicked off the lights, and Maya was suddenly very aware of her ragged breathing. Her friend rustled about in the darkness, searching for something, but Maya could only make out her silhouette.

Finally, she let out a little yelp of glee and clicked a switch.

Thousands of stars lit up the ceiling, arching across in delicate curves. The projector whirred somewhere to the right of her, but Maya couldn’t look away from the warm lights slowly drifting around them.

It settled something in her chest.

“Do you want me to leave?” Maddie’s voice momentarily jarred her out of the floating sensation.

“Whatever you want to do is fine by me, Mads. Thank you.”

Without saying another word, Maddie lay on her bed, the slats creaking, to join the stargazing.

Maya wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, listening to the quiet ocean sounds playing through Maddie’s speaker, but the jingle of a key in the lock brought Maya crashing back to earth far too soon. Hannah was home.

Now she was calm, she didn’t want to have to explain herself, but she knew she would have to. Hannah would never leave it alone. Maya hoped she wouldn’t say ‘I told you so’.

The bedroom door creaked open, and Hannah poked her head in. The light from the living room polluted the space, fully bringing Maya out of the illusion.

“Everything okay?” Hannah asked. She was still wearing her red netball kit, auburn hair loose over her shoulders. “Can I join?” When Maddie answered, she stepped inside, closed the door, and took a seat on the floor next to Maya. “Has something happened?”

The waves crashed in the background. Maya wondered when she’d last been to the seaside. She couldn’t remember. Jamie’s comment about Whitby sprung into her mind, and she swallowed, feeling suddenly guilty.

“It’s…Carly,” she admitted, feeling a tinge of embarrassment about her emotional outburst. It had just been so unexpected; it had caught her off guard. She should’ve anticipated it, though, and that’s what she was angry about. Her own stupid naivety.

Hannah’s voice hardened. “What has she done?”

Her quick change in tone almost made Maya smile. Hannah was always the first to defend her.

Maya followed a star across the ceiling, waiting until it disappeared to let out a heavy sigh. After her first text, Carly had sent another, wanting to catch up at the Globe. It’d been a while since she’d wanted to hang out, just the two of them—something they used to do most weekends. Maya had thought that meant they might still share something, that all these years being friends hadn’t been just a waste. They could chat about Carly’s dance recitals, and Maya would explain the football rules for the millionth time. She’d tease Carly about the crappy reality TV she loved to watch, and they’d forget about the strains and the weirdness that’d worked its way into their relationship.

But instead, Carly wanted to introduce Maya to her new boyfriend, Luke Ingle.

Maya knew this was going to happen at some point. Carly was single, she could be in a relationship with whoever she wanted, but walking in and seeing her draped over his tall frame was a punch to the gut. She hadn’t expected it to hit so hard, but what hurt the most was realising how much time Maya had wasted on her…pining, torturing herself, and coming to the conclusion that everything her friends had been saying was right.

Hannah and Maddie listened as Maya talked it out. Being in the darkness helped. In Maddie’s safe space, Maya felt…well, safe.

Hannah reached out and took her hand. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Maya. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay. She didn’t know.”

Hannah huffed, her accent coming through stronger. “The woman must be blind if she couldn’t see the way you looked at her. But…never mind. It’s her loss. Right, Mads?”

“Right,” Maddie agreed from across the room.

The three of them laughed at Maddie’s awkwardness, and most of Maya’s sadness washed away, dispersed by the ocean waves and her two best friends.

“How do you feel about it now?” Hannah asked, releasing her hand so she could flop back on Maddie’s rug.

“It’s done,” Maya answered honestly. That part of her life, the Carly part, was over. What she’d suspected had proved true: Carly had never liked her romantically, and the fact she’d found somebody else was a clear message. Maya wasn’t used to letting things go; she guessed she didn’t really know how and had never thought she would have to with Carly. But if she were honest, she and Carly hadn’t been friends for a long time. Now she was over the shock of it, her mind actually felt clearer than it had in months. “We were never meant to be.”

“She never passed the Pot Noodle test,” Maddie said, her voice sounding far away.