Page 58 of Take Her On

The streetlights cast yellow streaks across her jeans as they passed. She counted twelve before her mum sighed and spoke again.

“I’m sorry if I was offensive. I’m not up to date with all the latest stuff.”

Even that was problematic. As if Alex’s life was just a TikTok trend he’d jumped on board with.

Her mum tapped her freshly manicured nails on the steering wheel. “It’s just new for me. It wasn’t my generation. But I am trying, Maya.”

She tried to remember what Hannah had said before she left. ‘Don’t make things harder for yourself than they already are’. Easier said than done.

“I know,” she managed, through a clenched jaw.

But this conversation was a minefield of stuff that could go wrong. Luckily, they were almost home. She swallowed the rest of her sentence. Adding, I just wish you’d listen, to the conversation in her head instead.

She’d learned there was not much use in expressing her feelings; it only ended in an argument. Like the time her mum had redecorated her room when she was younger, from her favourite football themed to pink and purple. When eight-year-old Maya cried and was called ungrateful, she’d spent the night being comforted by Grandpa, drawing pictures to spruce up the walls. When Maya had come out as a lesbian, her mum had been more concerned about whether she’d get grandchildren than how Maya was feeling. ‘Don’t be so quick to label yourself. You’re too young to know.’ They hadn’t spoken for days after, neither of them knowing what to say. Not much had changed since.

Her mum continued drumming her nails on the steering wheel. It seemed she was holding something back, too. The air in the car thickened.

Maya didn’t want them to fight—she knew how much Grandma hated it. She was always the mediator between them, the voice of reason when they didn’t see eye to eye about football or Maya’s plans to become a Strength and Conditioning coach, but Grandma had enough on her plate as it was. Maya cracked her fingers and swallowed.

“Thanks for picking me up,” she said. “It’s nice to not have to get the train or bus.”

Her mum perked up, her smile showing her pearly white teeth. “No problem, love.”

They turned onto their road, and Maya was relieved they’d be home soon. “Any news on Grandpa?” she asked.

“No change since this morning.”

He’d been making steady progress at the rehabilitation centre. In a week, he’d be able to come home. The thought made Maya smile. She missed him.

“Although,” her mum continued. “There was something I wanted to ask you.”

She pulled onto the drive, and Maya’s insides tensed. Her mum usually came straight out with things.

“I have a date on Wednesday.”

Oh…okay.

“Grandma isn’t doing as well as she says she is. I hoped you could rearrange your football game so you can stay with her. I really need a night off.”

What? Is she serious?

“I can’t just rearrange the games, Mum. It’s a proper league. There are rules and—I’m the captain, for god’s sake—”

“Maya.” Her mum tutted and shook her head. “With everything going on, I thought you might let me have one night off.”

“Let you have one night off?” She clenched her fists, hot bubbling rage swelling in her gut. This was unbelievable. “You could’ve picked any day of the week, and it would’ve been fine. Just not that one. Don’t you understand…” She shook her head, tears pricking behind her eyelids. She hated frustrated crying. “It’s…”

Important to me. It’s my last year. It’s something that I need, too.

How could she not get that?

But her mum never asked about football. Or Maya’s upcoming exams. Or the decision that awaited her at the end of the year. She thought her career choice was a dead end. She didn’t understand Maya at all. They were too different.

The events of the night caught up with her again. Carly. The rejection. The nail in the coffin of their friendship.

Was she unintentionally signalling “treat me like a doormat”? Well, not anymore. If she had to accept her dead-end relationship with Carly, she could do the same here. Even if they were family.

She looked at her mother. Her dyed blonde hair and red lipstick. Those dark eyes flicking over her face with the same confusion she imagined was reflected in hers.