Page 69 of The Heartbreak Hotel

“I have, and I’ve been selfish—”

“Listen.” Pauline pressed her lips together, then breathed a long, heavy sigh, taking Ella’s hand in hers. Ella tried not to mind that it was clammy. “Thank you for your apology. I appreciate that.” She paused, selecting her next words. “But I won’t have you talking negatively about yourself. I know I’m not the easiest person to be around, but you’ve been kind and listened to me talk about Albert. You carried my suitcase and gave me a shoulder to cry on, and I won’t let you think you’re not a good friend to me, because you are. You’ve a good energy around you.”

Ella laughed, sniffing loudly. “You’ve been spending too much time with Senhor Arenoso.”

“Maybe a kitten’s whisker. Anyhoo, do you want a tissue? I have plenty.”

Ella accepted and dried her eyes, allowing her body to relax. Relief swept over her. She didn’t want to be the reason that anyone else was upset; Riley was bad enough. Her face drooped, and Pauline poked at her mouth with a plump finger.

“What happened there?”

“Sorry.” Ella rubbed the spot she’d touched and sighed.

“Is this about Riley?”

Ella hesitated. As much as she’d grown to like Pauline, Riley didn’t want anyone to know about them. If she wanted to leave the island on good terms and protect Riley’s job, she needed to keep it a secret. “No,” she said, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve and hoping Pauline hadn’t noticed the long pause.

“Probably for the best. I am a nosy Noreen, but I’m not the best at keeping secrets. Albert would attest to that. I told everyone we knew about his affair in our family Christmas card.”

Ella glanced at the woman, seeing her in a different light. She might have her flaws—the wailing, snotty crying, and gassy tendencies—but she had a kind heart. “Sounds like Albert deserved worse.”

Pauline’s mouth erupted into a toothy grin, and she pulled Ella in for a hug. “There she is. My bestie’s back.”

Ella chuckled into her shoulder and then hugged her, wondering how Winnie was going to take the news.

After chatting for a while longer and after Pauline had tried on different outfits for the fire ceremony at the end of the week, Ella left her cabin feeling reenergised. Patching things with Pauline had been the hors d’oeuvre; now it was time for the main. She just needed to find Riley.

A funny feeling lingered in her belly. One she couldn’t quite place. But if she’d learnt anything on this island, it was to listen to herself and follow her heart. Senhor Arenoso had been right. Ella had many reservations and had put walls up, trying to protect herself, but they’d just stopped her from getting what she desired. She didn’t want a quick fix anymore. She wanted something that would last.

She wanted Riley.

She let out a laugh, a mixture of relief and amusement, because the very idea that Ella had fallen for her was both ridiculous and oh-so-predictable. But she didn’t care what her mother or even what Winnie would think. Yes, admittedly, she still had plenty to work on, but this time, she wasn’t shying away from it. And a connection like theirs came once in a lifetime.

Ella knew what she wanted; she just hoped Riley knew too.

She pressed her nose up against the cool window of Riley’s cabin, knocking her hat to the floor. The lights were dark, but she just wanted to be sure, in case—heaven forbid—anything had happened to her. Her heart sank a little. The fact that Riley had had a day off today without saying anything felt…strange. Was she reading too much into this? Being too forward? She didn’t want to be too much and scare Riley away.

Her heart skipped in her chest as her mind tried to pull its old tricks on her.

But she took in a breath, refocused, and remembered what Senhor Arenoso had said to her. Surrender to the process. If she followed her heart, she could leave the island with no regrets. No matter what the outcome was, she would survive. She always did.

She wouldn’t let her brain get in the way of her trying.

With newfound focus, she looked out over the sea, breathing in the fresh air. Where would Riley be? She picked up her hat and started walking, hoping her intuition was right.

A short while later, feet in the sand and the sea breeze in her hair, she tilted her head up to the cliffs, catching a head of familiar blonde hair. Riley. Her heart skipped a beat, insides squeezing. All the confidence she’d felt on her walk over drained out the soles of her feet.

You can do this, Ella.

She walked towards the rocks, nerves building with every step. Memories of stumbling up these boulders after Riley had rescued her played in her mind. The electricity that’d warmed through her veins just from being around her—maybe from the near-death adrenaline, too.

Her fingers gripped the rough grooves, and she pulled herself up, the sun warm on her back. She remembered it being trickier than this, but maybe that was because she’d been terrified of falling and crushing the handsome yoga instructor. But no, she felt stronger. She was stronger. Both mind and body.

She could do anything. Even super scary things like telling Riley how she felt about her.

With a heave, she approached the top and found a hand waiting. She looked up and met cool, blue eyes, almost stilling her heart.

“Need a hand?” Riley asked.