Page 68 of The Heartbreak Hotel

But Riley was realising something—sometimes, a bit of chaos can be a good thing. It’s said that the flap of a butterfly’s wings could be capable of starting a hurricane on the other side of the planet. One small, seemingly insignificant action can make a big change over time. Meeting Ella and inviting that chaos in had already started to change her.

With Ella’s fire and direct nature, how she wore her heart on her sleeve, Riley couldn’t help but be drawn to her. In her own process of healing, Riley had hidden parts of herself away. Being around Ella brought colour back to those spaces. She made her feel more confident, more playful, like she could express her sexuality again and give in to the desire. Ella’s heart, her beautiful and enormous heart, could hold so much love, Riley was afraid of it.

Because her past had taught her that in the blink of an eye—of a flutter of a butterfly’s wings—those things can disappear.

But they can also ignite.

In order to find the balance she was searching for, Riley needed a little chaos.

After another swipe of paint, dabbing the bristles side to side to add more texture, she let out another breath.

She knew what she had to do.

Chapter Nineteen

Ella

Ella wasn’t surprised when Riley didn’t show for yoga class, but it still hurt. Had what she’d said to Pauline affected her that badly? Or was something else going on? Ella had only meant for it to be a joke, not taken to heart, but watching the replacement instructor in Riley’s space at the front made dread sink deeper into her stomach.

The woman, Jane, was nice enough, but she wasn’t Riley.

Sleeping in her own bed had felt strange, too, without Riley’s long, warm body to snuggle into.

Better get used to it, she supposed. Her king-sized bed was waiting for her back in England, but she’d give the world’s comfiest mattress a miss to be able to keep sharing Riley’s.

She tried to focus on holding her balance, but her shaky breathing threw her off, and she nearly toppled over. Jane’s attention landed on her, but she forced a smile, hoping she wouldn’t come over and give her any advice. She didn’t want to speak to anyone.

She couldn’t spend what was left of her time on the island like this.

Jane closed the session, making a joke that made everyone laugh but made Ella even sadder, and people started packing away their mats. Ella lingered at the back, dragging her feet, when a familiar oversweet perfume bombarded her senses. She looked up to find Pauline, wearing fluorescent green-and-yellow spandex with a black kimono. It was giving funeral and eighties disco all in one. But the woman’s face was the most surprising. Her dark eyebrows were drawn together worriedly, the frown lines etched deep beside her mouth. After a quick glance over her shoulder proved that no one else was around, she leaned in to whisper, “Ella, I think I might have done something to upset Riley.”

Her mouth wobbled. Her pleading eyes full of concern. Dammit. The fact that Pauline was blaming herself for this just made Ella feel even more terrible. She fought the pricking sensation forming behind her own eyes, but it was no use, and a lone tear slipped down her cheek before she could brush it away. She pulled her oversized hat down over her face. She’d worn it in an attempt to make Riley smile, but now it doubled as a shield from prying eyes.

But Pauline jumped into action, her own sadness vanishing as she wrapped her arms around her, suffocating her in her bosom.

“Oh, sweetie. What’s wrong?” She gave Ella another squeeze, making her grunt, then tugged her away from the courtyard.

With their roles now reversed—Ella being the sniffling snot monster while Pauline encouraged her on—Ella hardly registered where they were going until they stepped inside. Pauline’s cabin was immaculately clean, with not a sock out of place or a single crease in the bedding. But the collection of flowers and home-crafted items dotted about the space made it feel very homely. Ella recognised some of the designs from the local markets, the colourful patterns and detailed craftsmanship. Had she bought all of these?

“Take a seat, bestie.”

Ella sniffed, catching a strong whiff of Pauline’s perfume, which seemed to pillow out from every direction. She didn’t want to sit on the bed and ruin it, so she perched awkwardly on the end of the wooden frame.

“What are you doing?” Pauline asked, peering at Ella hovering over the bed like she was about to squat and cough. “Sit your bottom down.”

Ella did as she was asked, and another tear slipped down her cheek.

Pauline collapsed on the mattress, legs kicking in the air. She righted herself, blew out a breath, then commanded Ella with her eyes. “Tell Pauline everything.”

Ella didn’t have it in her to comment on Pauline speaking about herself in the third person or tell her how much she shared her mother’s inherent love for gossip. It was hard to find any words in the depth of all the sadness swallowing her.

“I’m sorry, Pauline,” she started, unable to look the woman in the eyes.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I owe you an apology. I’ve not been fair to you.” A swell of emotion rose in her chest, and she bit her lip. “I shouldn’t have made those comments about Riley to you. They were untrue, but I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I was just deflecting and making a joke.” She forced her eyes to meet Pauline’s. “And I’m sorry if that hurt you. You’ve been a good friend to me since being here. And I’ve just been a cow.”

“You haven’t.”