Page 71 of The Heartbreak Hotel

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” Riley mumbled. “The anniversary, it just brings everything back.”

“You don’t have to apologise,” Ella said, pulling back and brushing the tear-soaked hair from Riley’s face. “I’m glad you’re telling me.”

She nodded, eyes red and puffy.

“You can tell me anything, Riley. I care about you.” Their eyes met, and Ella saw an emotion she hadn’t seen there before. Something darker. She remembered to breathe, then reached for Riley’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “If you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”

Chapter Twenty

Ella

They curled up in Riley’s bed, the same way they had many times before, but now with an air of vulnerability surrounding them. Whatever shields and barriers they’d constructed, out of habit or necessity, lay at dust by their feet. There was nowhere else to hide, but Ella didn’t want to. She had a feeling their next conversation would have an irreversible ripple effect.

For better or worse.

Her breathing came quick and loud in her own ears. She didn’t know what to expect. Riley’s revelation had come as a surprise to her, but it also made a lot of sense. They’d not spoken much about how Riley came to work at Sandy Springs. Riley had said she needed a lifestyle change, not dissimilar to the majority of people who found themselves here. She’d befriended the staff, and they were impressed with her yoga knowledge. The next thing she knew, years had passed, and she was still here.

Ella had never seen someone fall apart so easily in front of her, but then she imagined it hadn’t been easy at all; it was more of an accumulation of everything Riley had been hiding. She tightened her arm around the woman’s shoulders, combing her fingers through her hair. Her heart ached to think she’d kept all of this inside all the time. If nothing else, she hoped to make the burden lighter for her. Riley had done that for Ella when she’d found her at the bottom of the creepy fingers tree after finding out about Maeve’s engagement.

So she waited, held her tighter, and continued to brush her nails against her scalp in soft circles.

Riley’s arm draped over Ella’s stomach, and her eye was drawn to the white scar tracing her wrist. She drew her fingertip over it and felt Riley exhale.

“Did this happen in the crash?” she asked.

“Yeah. But it was a clean break.”

A moment passed between them. Ella continued to caress the line, evidence of the moment causing Riley so much distress. But she sensed there was more.

“What happened after the accident?”

“It was a mess.” Riley exhaled again, and Ella heard the quiver in her voice. “The boy’s mum, the driver, she sued Elodie. Claimed dangerous driving… Drummed up this whole media campaign spreading lies and hate about us for injuring a child.” Her voice turned steely. “But it was an accident. It all happened so quickly. No one meant for anyone to get hurt.”

“That’s awful. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.” Ella’s mind stumbled on a question she was almost too afraid to ask. But she took a deep breath and asked it anyway. “What happened with you and Elodie?”

“I guess…sometimes traumatic events bring you closer together. Sometimes they break you.” She was quiet for a moment. “She changed. Became a shell of herself. She started to believe everything the media were saying. That she was a reckless monster who deserved to rot behind bars.” She shook her head, her words quickening. “I tried to help her. I tried so hard to help her, but she wouldn’t listen. Started drinking heavily, acting reckless. I didn’t recognise her anymore. I tried so hard, Ella, but it wasn’t enough. I—”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ella pulled her into her chest, even though she was much smaller than Riley, and rocked her.

“I couldn’t stop it all falling apart,” she said in a quiet voice.

Ella’s eyes watered, and she squeezed her tighter. She knew that feeling well. When you felt something slipping through your fingers, and you tried to claw it back, only to worsen the distance.

Maybe that was why she’d stayed at her job, close to Maeve, so she could still touch on that happy feeling when she needed to. But the feeling wasn’t real. It was just an illusion.

Riley rested her chin on Ella’s chest, and she kissed her temple, breathing in the smell she’d become so familiar with. She didn’t want their relationship to slip through her fingers either, but that same fear gripped her own insides. Maybe Riley’s aversion to having a relationship with a client was just an aversion to relationships in general. After having her heart broken, Ella could understand that. But it still scared her. Was she going to put her heart on the line just for it to be stamped on once more?

She wanted to tell Riley how she felt about everything, but today wasn’t about Ella. It was about Riley.

“Thank you for being so open with me,” she murmured against her hair, planting another kiss.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“It’s okay. Nobody’s perfect all the time. In fact, I remember you saying that to me. Remember?”

“I guess I can’t argue with that.” Riley gave a sad chuckle, then sniffed. “I just don’t do well on the anniversary. It reminds me of everything I lost.”

Ella’s heart flinched. It hurt to hear Riley speak about someone else in that way, but she understood. “It’s alright. Let it out. I’ve got you.”