Page 84 of The Heartbreak Hotel

Hmm. Maybe Winnie’s right, and they are spiking the water here.

It’d taken her a little bit of time, but she’d done as Senhor Arenoso asked and surrendered to the course. It had meant hearing things she didn’t want to listen to. Not only facing them but digging deeper into why she held these beliefs so close. It had been difficult to learn that the biggest obstacle standing in Ella’s way was, in fact, herself—and not her mother—and that her fears were overpowering her desires. But she wasn’t staying stuck in her loop anymore.

She lifted her gaze, searching for that particular person who embodied all of her fears and desires in one. When she landed on Riley, already seated by the fire, a surge of love passed through the connection between them, coating all of her body with the intensity of the dancing flames in front of her.

Riley’s eyes captured hers, buoying her heart with a soul-defying ache in the best way possible, lifting her and carrying her above the crowd, higher than the pillowing smoke, cradling her in a softness that made her feel she could do anything and be anyone.

As the two of them watched each other, lost in the haze of their energies, saying a thousand things without words, Ella’s mouth curved into a smile.

Being with Riley, she’d learnt a whole new meaning of the word surrender.

She might not have found her purpose yet or her “soul key” or whatever, but she’d found her happiness again. As Pauline threw her bundle of sage into the fire and Ella moved to the front, the realisation struck her like a flash of lightning.

Of course. Her purpose was so simple. She’d expected it to be rooted deep within her, to spring forth and fill her with a life-changing epiphany that would sweep her off her feet, perhaps render her unconscious at its weight. But as she stared into the flames, the heat warming her face, another ripple of joy crested in her chest, and she knew she’d found it.

Ella’s purpose was to be happy.

She wasn’t intent on winning every award, like Devin and Clarice, or on building a hefty nest egg, like her parents. Ella’s focus was on the simple things: sharing the sunrise with someone who appreciated it just as much as she did; picking fresh oranges and kissing under the trees; painting badly because it was better than not painting anything at all. Even trying to surf, because you might surprise yourself and actually be good at it.

She couldn’t stop a bubble of laughter from leaving her throat as she stepped forward and took a bundle of something green to offer to the fire. The bark was rough under her fingertips. Sucking in a lungful of burning wood, she cast the bundle into the flames, squeezing her eyes shut and sending her thought to whoever was listening.

I just want to be me.

Applause rippled around her, and another whoop from Winnie brought her eyelids fluttering open to take in the scene. The happy faces, the smoke, the all-consuming feeling that Ella’s life was about to change for the better.

After exchanging thumbs-ups and waves with her best friend, and then a lingering smile at Riley, Ella took her seat beside her new bestie, Pauline, joining in the celebrations as the last of their group gave their offerings.

Some time passed while the fire grew and climbed with ferocity, spitting and sparking, specks of ash drifting around them like snowflakes. The crowd lost themselves in the hypnotic burning as they waited until it stopped pluming smoke to continue their celebration. A calmness possessed Ella as she watched the dancing flames, feeling the stone under her feet and the collective quiet as the fire sparked and popped. Smoke curled and spiralled upwards, and she breathed in the scent, embracing the moment as everything passed through her. The past. The present. The future.

She wondered if everyone else was feeling this, too.

She peered at Pauline from the corner of her eye, hoping she felt as much love as Ella did in this moment. Just to be sure, she took the woman’s warm hand in hers and gave it a squeeze, before returning her gaze to the flames.

When the burning steadied, Senhor Arenoso retook his place at the front, ready to award the spirit totems.

“Our spirit guides are not new to us. They may live in the shadows for some time, shut out from our hearts when we close ourselves off. But being here, reconnecting with nature, is the perfect opportunity to build on your relationship with your guide. When you nurture that relationship and tune into the energy, life flows easier. When you take a moment and listen, you’ll be amazed at all the things you’ve been missing that were right there all along.” He flashed his practised smile and called the first person to the front.

Ella expected to feel nervous at this point of the night. For weeks, the spirit guides had been a constant topic of conversation between the guests and the staff alike. She thought about the dolphin marked between Riley’s shoulder blades. How the dolphin represented a beautiful balance between playfulness and protection, and how that fit Riley so well.

Ella loved all the variations of Riley; she was excited to see what other sides of herself she could unlock with her spirit guide’s influence.

When Senhor Arenoso called her name, she wiped the stickiness from Pauline’s clammy hand on her dress and blew out a breath. The heat of the fire warmed her as she circled it, and then she waited opposite Senhor Arenoso, her palm facing upward.

His knowing gaze combed over her, and she swallowed, intimidated by the owl headpiece that was also staring into her soul. “Passionate, fiery, fierce, loyal. Your energies lie on the strong tip of the scale. A key focus for you, Ella, is to remember the spiritual connection with the earth and how this feeds and restores balance to yourself. This connection is just as important. Don’t lose that. Balance is key.” He touched her palm, closed his eyes, and a deep rumble came from his throat. “Ella, your guide has come to me, in all their light and mightiness.” He dipped his head, producing a wooden totem wrapped tightly in his hand. He hung the string over her head, and Ella held her breath, waiting for the next words to leave his lips. “The turkey.”

A…turkey?

Raucous applause engulfed her, and he spun her to face the cheering crowd. She caught Winnie’s hooting laughter, not even trying to hide it as she echoed Senhor’s announcement to the people seated next to her.

Ella thumbed the totem in her hand, feeling the smooth edges and the carved feathers. A turkey. A turkey? Then, a giant grin broke across her face. Sure, why the hell not?

“Woo!” she cheered, lifting the totem high and earning another surge of appreciation from the crowd. Happiness coated her head-to-toe, and when her gaze fell on Riley once again, it multiplied tenfold. Ella was exactly where she needed to be.

* * *

Once the last of the totems had been handed out, the real party began. Riley and the other staff moved the log seating to the side, making room around the burning fire. The band sprang to life, encouraging people to dance to the lively beat in the new space on the stone paving. The locals took to it immediately, the guests needing a bit more encouragement—apart from Winnie, who had first made sure to congratulate Ella on her graduation and also to give her best impression of a turkey, gobble gobble, before spying a handsome man in her peripheral vision and quickly making her move.

Ella smiled as she watched the people twirl around, stepping this way and that, while the well-rehearsed ones clicked fingers and stomped their feet to the tune of the piano accordion and drum. Winnie tried her best to keep up with the tree trunk of a man wheeling her around, but the sight made Ella’s sides ache from laughing. Pauline, newly equipped with the cougar totem hanging around her neck—who knew?—threw her head back in a fit of giggles too, as she spun her sister in clumsy circles. The two were like twins, separated only by a different colour fascinator. Ella hoped Pauline would get to have a shot at dancing with Marco Marcos later in the evening.