Page 88 of The Forbidden Fling

I was angry at you for leaving me. As an adult, I understand you didn’t choose this for yourself. But I was still angry. I think parts of me still are.

She gripped the letter tighter.

I feel guilty, too, for denying parts of myself that remind me of you. Did you know I didn’t step foot on a beach after you left? It hurt too much. I didn’t want any more happy memories tainted with the pain of losing you.

She’d cried last night. Curled herself into a ball and let the feeling consume her. How did she have any tears left? The last thing she wanted was to break down in front of all these people in a grief-stricken epiphany. But the words kept coming back to her as the line in front continued to move, the rounds of applause barely touching her ears.

Never saying goodbye to you hurt. But it was more than just that moment. It was saying goodbye to everything you would never get to see. My life. My children. Saying goodbye to things I’d never know and never get to ask you. I was too young to really understand the finality of it all, the way it would stretch and touch everything. I’ve made mistakes, Mum. How am I supposed to know if you’re proud of me? I tried my best, but I just want to know. Are you proud?

There were only a few people left. The heat of the fire intensified with every step, along with the weight in her feet.

In front of her, Faye pushed her hair over her shoulders. She stole a glance at Diana. Just the small smile—the flicker of a moment—reassured her, and she breathed in.

What was Faye thinking? What was she wanting to leave behind?

Faye plucked a green bundle from the basket and held it to her chest. After a few seconds, she tossed it into the flames and threw up her arms in celebration.

The flames danced, smoke spiralling upwards into the darkened sky. The next person added their offering, and Diana squeezed Molly’s hand as she stepped up. A flower was incinerated, another round of applause, and then it was Diana’s turn.

Hundreds of eyes were fixed on her, but the letter in her hand held her focus. The fire warmed her face as she plucked a blue flower from the basket—her mum’s favourite colour—and placed it on the envelope.

I don’t know how to end this. Much as how I didn’t know how to start. I don’t suppose there’s ever a good way to say goodbye to someone you love, is there? One thing I do know is I’ll do better. I’ll talk about you. I want Molly to know who her grandma was.

She looked into the flames, alive and bright, and she knew it was time. Time to let go, to move forward, to say goodbye. She tossed the envelope into the flames, the paper blackening instantly. The roar of the crowd was deafening.

Goodbye, Mum. Thank you for everything.

The knot in her chest loosened, tension leaving her body. The words, along with the letter, had crumpled into ash, spiralling into the sky like snowflakes. She watched them dance in the darkness, flickering orange and slowly fading away. People she didn’t know congratulated her as she passed, as well as familiar people from the course, and Ella gave her an enthusiastic hug. Diana’s gaze lingered on Faye for a fraction too long, but she couldn’t help it.

Her bones were lighter, her muscles relaxed. She was…free. Freer, at least. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t felt life’s pressures tugging at her ankles.

She slid in next to Molly and tapped her knee. “You okay, love?”

Molly beamed back. “It feels like we’re supposed to be here, doesn’t it?”

Surrounded by the warmth of the fire and friendly faces, the light feeling flowing through her veins, Diana could only agree. You’re meant to be here.

She’d repaired her relationship with Molly, figured out some home truths, and learned a lot about herself. Not everything was crystal clear, of course, but as the group gathered together to watch the flames spitting and sparking, Diana let herself embrace the feeling, hoping that it would last longer than the wood took to burn.

Once the burning steadied, Senhor Arenoso stood again, ready to award the group with their spirit familiars.

He placed his hand on his chest. “When we slow life down and take a moment to reconnect with nature, amazing things happen. When we start to listen, start to feel, we discover parts of ourselves that were always there, hidden by the shadows. Our guides are not new to us. They’re shut off from our hearts, disconnected from our true selves. When we tune into their energy and nurture that relationship, that bond is strengthened. Our guides are part of us. Embrace that, and we accept and love who we are. With that acceptance comes peace. With that, comes love.” He smiled, his face lit by the flickering flames. “We are all connected. Everything.”

The words resonated with Diana. She’d spent so long keeping people at a distance, the idea that she’d also shut off part of herself from the world didn’t surprise her.

Her gaze fell on the glowing embers, and she breathed in the scent of the herbs and spices from the offerings. But then, Senhor Arenoso called her name. After a small push from Molly, she rose to join him, the warmth of the fire heating her as she passed.

“Palm up, please,” he said.

She did as he asked, and his knowing gaze lingered, the owl headpiece towering above her, feathers spread wide.

“Diana,” he began, his voice carrying throughout the courtyard. “Ambitious, dominant, independent. Strong and powerful qualities that can often steal the spotlight from some of your other, softer qualities. Remember, there’s also strength in weakness and in trusting our gentle side. Don’t smother that side in fear. She needs sunlight and space to grow.” He touched her palm and closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh. “Your guide has come to me. In all their light and mightiness.” He produced a wooden totem, which he hung over Diana’s head. Then he grinned, his dark eyes sparkling. “The dove.”

She looked down at the wooden carving, with its intricately carved feathers.

“Doves are often celebrated as symbols of peace, which is true, but their significance goes deeper. The dove is a call to renew, to cleanse and elevate, to break free from life’s constraints. It’s a beacon of gentle courage, encouraging calmness and harmony through love. With her pure white feathers and deep, caring nature, the dove is hope.”

A loud round of applause erupted on all sides. Diana turned to face the cheering crowd. Molly beamed back at her, bringing her fingers to her mouth to whistle. Diana lifted her hand in thanks as the feeling surrounded her—lightness, excitement, a tingle that spread from the base of her neck to the tips of her toes.