Page 107 of Before the Encore

“Maddy.” It was so simple yet held so much in one breath.

But she couldn’t let her guard down. Not yet.

“Mum!” Ruby jumped in, tugging Bonnie by the hand. “This is Bonnie Bloom, Maddy’s girlfriend. Can you believe it? She’s actually here!”

“Thanks for coming. I’ve heard a lot about you from Ruby.” Her mum smiled, then her attention fell back on Madison. Her skin sagged a little, weathered by drinking and sleepless nights, crinkling around her eyes and mouth. “It’s so good to see you.”

Madison didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. An awkward silence fell on the room.

“Are you hungry yet?” Ruby jumped in. “It’s quite a drive. I made Madison’s favourite—spaghetti and hot dogs. I hope that’s alright for you, Bonnie?”

Madison’s favourite.

She neglected to say it was one of the only meals Madison could make for the two of them growing up. Madison didn’t have the heart to tell her.

But the guilty look in her mother’s eyes said enough.

Ruby plated the spaghetti while their mum cut the garlic bread. Madison led Bonnie into the front room, the smell of polish lingering. The L-shaped sofa took up most of the room. The grey carpet had been freshly vacuumed, she could tell by the markings, but it couldn’t erase the various stains that had accumulated over the years.

Madison hovered. It looked like Ruby had taken over her role in Madison’s absence. A cold unease twisted inside her. When would her mum start taking responsibility for herself?

Bonnie wrapped her arm around her waist. “Are you okay?”

Before she could answer, Ruby called them back into the kitchen. Dinner was ready.

The table in the kitchen wasn’t big enough for the four of them, so they ate in the living room, their plates balanced on trays. Madison chewed slowly as Ruby chatted about Lipstick Fever’s launch party, though Madison imagined she’d already told Mum all of it once already. Her gran’s gold clock ticked away on the mantlepiece; Mr Donohue coughed loudly from next door. Everything could be heard through these walls. Madison should probably make him sign an NDA.

“I love that picture of you two.” Bonnie nodded towards the photo of Ruby sitting on Madison’s shoulders. Goggles made their eyes bulge like fish, the dark English sea stretching out behind them. They’d spent the summer at Gran’s caravan at Skegness; it was one of her favourite memories.

Mum finished chewing her mouthful, dabbing her mouth with a piece of kitchen roll. “I have loads of amazing pictures from that trip. I’ll get the album out if you’d like.”

Bonnie glanced to Madison like she was asking if it was okay. “I’d love that, if you don’t mind?”

Madison didn’t object, but the spaghetti twirled around and around her fork.

When they’d finished eating, Madison and Ruby collected the empty bowls, taking them into the kitchen, while her mum pulled out the old photo albums. Maybe she should’ve said no. The show of happy families grated at her, scratching beneath the skin, frustration winding tighter in her chest. Where was her apology?

“Did I do something wrong?” Ruby asked, scraping Madison’s leftovers into the bin.

“No. It was great, Rubes. I’m just not hungry.”

Ruby stacked the dirty bowls in the sink and ran the hot water to soak them in the bubbles.

“This isn’t right.” Frustration twanged, reverberating, leaking out of her. “You shouldn’t be the one running around, cleaning and cooking.” Madison shook her head, then pulled open the kitchen cupboards, moving packets of pasta and tins of beans to look at the back.

Bottles had to be hiding here somewhere.

“What are you doing?” Ruby asked.

Madison ignored her question, sliding open drawers and shifting trays, looking in all the familiar places. Nothing. She climbed on top of the counter, patting her hand along the top of the cabinets for anything lying down.

“Maddy, stop, please.”

She brushed the dust on her trousers and opened the oven, the cupboard under the sink, then dug inside the bag with all the plastic carriers squashed inside. There would be something somewhere. Must be in her bedroom.

Ruby grabbed her, forcing Madison to look at her. “I told you. She’s not drinking anymore.”

“And I told you. Mum doesn’t just stop drinking.”