Page 84 of Before the Encore

Ruby picked at her nails. “She keeps asking how you are.”

“How big of her.”

Her sister could really kill a mood. Frustration leaked out into her veins, how it always did when the topic was mentioned. The game’s title screen hummed with enthusiastic music. Madison reached over and switched it off, the TV sucking the light out of the room.

Ruby stood, rubbing her bum from being sat on the hard floor for so long. She picked up Madison’s legs and collapsed on the sofa, laying them back across her lap. “You can’t ignore her forever. She’s stopped drinking, you know.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

“Please.” Ruby added, “She’s your mum.”

“Exactly.” Anger pulsed underneath her ribcage. “She’s my mum, and yet, I got us ready for school in the morning while she drank away all of our money. I lost track of how many times I cleaned up her sick so you wouldn’t see it. Or how many panic attacks I helped her through because she’d spent the rent money. I saw what Dad did to her. I saw when he came back to get what he wanted and leave again. You don’t know the half of it.”

Her chest heaved, jaw clenching as she looked up at the white ceiling. The apartment suddenly felt smaller than before. She shouldn’t have said that. Ruby didn’t need to know the details. She sat up, swinging her feet onto the floor to pull more air into her lungs.

Madison had waited until Ruby went to university before she left home for good. And her mum had the nerve to call Madison selfish for wanting to make something of her life? She’d be quite happy for Madison to waste away in that house just so she’d have someone to blame.

“You’re just like your dad. You take what you want, and then you leave.”

Madison ground her teeth.

Ruby’s gaze warmed her face. “I’m not saying you didn’t have it hard or that she was perfect. We both know she wasn’t. But the longer you leave it, the harder it’s going to be to come back from. Is that really what you want?”

“I don’t know.” She dug her teeth into her lip. “Why is it all on me? She should be saying sorry. She should be the one reaching out. But no, it always comes back to me to sort out her mess.”

Ruby’s voice came quietly. “She wants to talk to you.”

“Then why doesn’t she?”

“You know what you’re like when you’ve got the bit about something. You’re the most stubborn person I know.”

Madison shook her head. “Stop making excuses for her. She’s a coward, and she’s using you as a pawn. I’m tired of it, Ruby.”

“But she’s still your mum, Maddy.” Ruby’s voice grew quiet, and Madison hated that. It reminded her of all the difficult conversations she’d had with Ruby, hair in wonky pigtails, too young to understand why their mum missed birthday parties and slept all the time. Madison barely understood it herself, only that as Mum’s behaviour worsened, the stench of alcohol did too, as well as the empty bottles crowding the kitchen.

Madison sighed. “And I’m her daughter. But that never changed anything before. Why should it now?”

“Please, Maddy.” Ruby turned to her with glassy eyes, lashes blinking back tears. “I hate being in the middle.”

“Rubes, don’t cry.” The innate reaction to protect her surged. Wanting to stop her pain. Wanting to make it better. But better wasn’t always possible. A familiar ache spread through her chest, and she swallowed, throat tight. “Believe me. I’ve tried. She isn’t going to change. People like her are incapable.”

“One conversation. Please. I want to be able to celebrate everything you’ve achieved as a family. I know Mum wants that too.” Ruby pinned her with pleading eyes, looking startlingly like their mother. “Please.”

Madison met them, the ache deepening. She knew the desire all too well. In many ways, Ruby held a deeper wisdom than most people Madison knew; in others, she was still too naïve and hopeful. She didn’t want to take that from her yet. But she also wouldn’t let their mum manipulate her sister like this.

“I’ll think about it.” Madison stood, marking the end of the conversation. She closed the pizza box and carried their plates into the kitchen. She’d forgotten dishwasher tablets so, for now, she stacked them in the sink, promising to do them in the morning. Realistically, it would be after the studio session tomorrow. If she were being honest, she’d only remember when they started to smell.

“Can we watch a film?” Ruby asked, her usual bubbly demeanour inching back into her voice.

Madison checked the time. She still had hours to wait before she could call Bonnie. “Alright. But no more questions.”

She didn’t even need to ask what film Ruby would choose; Bridesmaids was her favourite pick-me-up.

Hours later, Madison groggily opened her eyes. The room was cloaked in darkness, just the light from the TV casting a small square onto the floor and the moonlight beyond the window. She reached for the lamp before realising she didn’t have one, and made a mental note to add that to her list of purchases. Dishwasher tablets. Lamp.

Ruby’s limbs were curled up into a ball, her dark hair fanned around her face. Madison stood slowly, wiping the drool from her chin, and tried not to wake her. She switched off the TV and draped a blanket over her sister, smiling at the muscle memory. Madison’s spare room currently held only empty air, so Ruby was taking the sofa tonight. Madison had offered, but Ruby insisted that the first night she spent in her new apartment had to be in her room. Bad juju or something.

Madison didn’t argue too hard; her back and muscles ached from lugging all the boxes, and she had a long day of recording tomorrow.