Page 95 of Carver’s Craving

Seth gestured for me to continue.

“I didn’t ever feel she appreciated the effort, you know?” Again with the fucking hand wave. “Maybe that’s just sour grapes on my part. I wanted Baxter to myself.”

“You—” Seth gestured. “—and him?”

I shrugged. “Fuck buddies. I mean, not while he was dating other people. Certainly not when he was married. Arlene tried to make it seem like we’d been—but we hadn’t. I would never, and I mean never, be with someone who was cheating. That’s a hard rule for me.”

“What if the person wasn’t honest? What if Baxter hadn’t been honest?”

“Look, you don’t know him like I do. He’s not built for cheating. He’s like me, you know?” Another fucking wave. “You don’t know. You only know what I’m telling you. Unless you’ve investigated him.”

“His social media’s been scrubbed.”

I cocked my head. “Well, he took off all the stuff about Arlene. Bad memories.”

Seth shook his head. “I mean in the time he’s been missing. I downloaded a bunch of stuff—images and so on—to help with the investigation. When I checked this morning, it’s all gone. His account is practically empty.”

The urge to check was overwhelming. “So he’s alive.” Relief flooded me. Then anger. “Where the fuck is he?”

“We’re going to assume he’s alive. We’d definitely considered suicide, but had no idea where to look. Unless his account has been hacked—”

“Fuck.” I pounded the table.

Poppin whimpered.

“Oh God, baby I’m so sorry.” I ducked and held out my hand.

To my relief, she came right to me.

I scooped her into my arms.

She licked my cheek.

Seth offered a small smile. “She seems like a very sensitive dog. In a good way. She seems to read your moods.”

“Poppin’s the best. Well, the best girl. Walter’s the best boy. Helps to have one of each gender. Then no one has to play favorites.” I stuck my face into Poppin’s wiry fur.

“You think his account was hacked?”

“I don’t know.” I blinked. “I just…for a moment I thought, okay, he’s good—he just wants a fresh start and he’ll come back.” I sighed. “When you suggested he’d been hacked, all that flew out the window.”

Seth nodded. “Okay, so let’s go through this one more time. Who might’ve hacked into his account? Did you know anyone who had access or could’ve figured out his passwords…?”

By the time the police officer left, I was wiped. I took the dogs out, then curled onto the couch with Walter at my head and Poppin on my hip.

The dreams were rough…but the rest helped.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Carver

Ican’t believe it’s December twenty-first and I’m buying ice cream. Tiger tail ice cream, no less . Well, and eggnog for myself. We were at the winter solstice—the longest night of the year. I intended to make the very most of that. If buttering Styx up with his favorite ice cream was the way to do that, I was happy to. Fuck black licorice. Gross. Yay to potential mutual blow jobs.

My grin widened.

Styx made it so easy to love him. Not just because he took care of me. That reminded me of Mom’s baking. When she was mentally healthy, she could just be like every other mom. Caring for me, helping me with homework, following up with teachers, and doing some amazing cooking. When she was having a rough time? KD, tuna salad, or grilled cheese. All foods I still consumed, especially the Kraft Dinner, but always with a heavy heart.

With Styx? Everything came from a place of caring. Caring I returned in spades.