Page 31 of Off Sides

“You’ve heard it from other perspectives?” He looks pale at the thought.

“No. I haven’t. The only one I’ve ever asked about it was Billy because I’m almost certain he’s a friend and not an asshole. But he didn’t know what happened exactly. I wouldn’t listen to it from anyone else. I want to hear it from you. I want you to get it out. You don’t have to be alone with it, whatever it is.”

He starts to shake his head violently at the thought, stepping back from me, but the back of his legs hit the front of his truck, and it stops him. I stay where I am, not wanting to cage him in, even if every part of me is screaming to go to him.

“I can’t do this. This was a mistake.” He starts to walk toward the driver’s side of his truck, and I panic, reaching out for him. My hand wraps around his wrist. The feeling of his skin against mine is an electric jolt, but I don’t let him go. If he tugged away at all, I would, but he doesn’t.

He freezes, his eyes focusing on where my hand is wrapped around his wrist and then slowly moving up to my face. He looks distraught and exhilarated at the same time, his eyes alight with wonder.

“Just talk to me,” I plead softly.

He tugs out of my hold, but he doesn’t push me away, and he doesn’t move any farther. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he says a little louder through clenched teeth.

“It does matter.” I take a step closer to him, breathing hard but not out of fear. It’s not really anger either. At least not anger with him. I’m pissed off at everyone who made him feel less than. “You matter, goddammit.”

I open my mouth to say something else, anything to get him to see just how much he matters. But I can’t get another word out because before I know it, his hand is on my nape, wrapping around it, and pulling me close. His big body is pressed against me, and I nearly stop breathing when his mouth slams against mine.

It’s everything I wanted and still somehow so different from what I ever imagined. The way his lips press against mine before his tongue licks into my mouth. It’s frantic and needy. It’s passion and fury. Desire and letting go for one brief moment.

I’ve never been kissed like this in my life. My fingers grip the fabric of his T-shirt as I pull him into me even more, my tongue sweeping over his as a deep rumble leaves his throat—a moan. A sign that he wants this just as badly as I do. That he doesn’t want it to stop.

God, I never want it to stop.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

calvin

My brain isn’t functioning. Either that or this is a very vivid dream.

There’s no way I’m kissing Jonah right now.

My fingers slide up from his nape and into his silky-smooth hair, and he lets out the softest, sweetest whimper against my lips. I pull back just enough to look into his eyes, his pupils blown and his lips pink and puffy. “Is this real?”

He nods, his nose brushing over mine as my fingers slide through his hair and my fingertips dance over his scalp. He chases my mouth, pressing his lips to mine again, his tongue sweeping over mine before he sucks on it hard, making need pool deep in my belly.

My dick is rock hard, and I want release—something I’ve never done with anyone else in my life. But I want it so badly.

I reach for the button on his jeans and unbutton them. He lets me, but then his kisses start to slow down, stopping entirely but then going back for more as I start to lower his zipper. Before I can push my hand into his briefs, though, I feel his hand slide under my shirt, over my belly and rest over my heart before his mouth fully pulls away from me. “I want this,” he pants.

“Good.” I lean in and press a kiss against his lips. “Me too.” When I go back in for a kiss, though, the hand on my heart gently pushes me back away from his beautiful mouth, though he leaves his hand right where it is.

“We should talk.”

I look down at the way his rigid cock is pressed against the red briefs, trying to escape and then look down at my own matching predicament before raising my eyes to meet his. “Really?”

His slow grin makes my heart stutter as he leans in and kisses me all too briefly but then removes his hand from under my shirt and buttons up his pants, breathing hard and being careful with his still-hard dick. He takes my hand, and I let him lead me out toward the edge of the lake, where there’s a bench.

I settle in next to him, not touching him because if we’re going to talk, I need my body to calm down first. God, I loved kissing him.

Part of me can’t believe I’m actually admitting it to myself, but like I said, I don’t think my brain is functioning right now.

“Tell me what happened,” he says softly, and I know I can trust him, but putting the words out there? I don’t know how to do that. I spent so long denying all of it inside my own head.

“What we just did,” I say, my head moving toward the direction of my truck and then my gaze settles back on him. “That’s what I did.”