Page 52 of Mail-Order Lady

Robert’s gaze moved across all of them, but it snagged on Clara’s and held there a beat longer than the others. Something in that look reached straight through her chest. He was trying to tell her something he couldn’t say with everyone standing here.

“I’m going to ride to Walnut Springs. Wire Father for confirmation.” He shifted the rifle to his other hand. “I need to pack a few things. I’ll be gone overnight.”

Bea nodded and turned toward the kitchen like a woman who had weathered worse than this and intended to feed everyone through it.

“I’ll help you pack.” Clara needed to talk with Robert without everyone around them. Needed to know what more he hadn’t said. Somehow she had to help him.

As she followed Robert up the stairs, he took them quicker than usual. He rarely let his boots pound the wood the way Thomas did, yet now he didn’t seem to notice the heavy footfalls.

At the top landing, he turned left toward his room, and she followed him to the open door. The room smelled like him—cedar and leather and a hint of lye.

He went straight to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer. His hands moved through the contents with none of his usual deliberateness. He lifted a shirt and held it up, then put it back without refolding it. He pulled out a second and set it on top of the dresser. Then picked it up again and stood there holding it. Did he even know what he was doing?

“Robert?”

He turned toward her, brows raised. As though he had no idea what she’d want to know.

“Is there something more you’re worried about? I mean, other than whether that man is telling the truth?”

Though, honestly, that alone would be more than enough to rattle a normal man. Learning that his father might have had an entirely separate family before this one? That there might be a brother—a half-brother—alive and standing out there in the yard? Plenty to knock a man off-kilter.

The only thing was, Robert didn’t let things shake him. He was impossibly solid and steady. Always. Even when he’d told her mother they were already married, he’d not even had a shift in breathing.

Yet here he stood, staring at her with wide eyes nearly glazed over. Gripping his shirt tight enough to rip the buttons off.

“I…I don’t know.”

This wasn’t Robert. Not the confident, thoughtful man she knew.

She took a step into the room. She had to do something to help him. Maybe…pack his satchel for him?

“Clara…”

His word made her stop. “Yes?”

He studied her even more than his usual focus. “Do you feel safe here? I mean…to stay here? While I’m gone? If you’d rather go with me… I don’t…” He drifted to a painful halt.

She let out a breath. At least she could relieve his mind there. “I’ll be safe here, Robert. I’m not concerned on that count. Your brothers won’t take undue risks, and I can help the other women. Kate especially. I’ll be fine here. You don’t need to worry about me.”

His expression eased a tiny bit. Not full relief, but a little less worry. “Are you certain?” His gaze clouded again. She needed to do something more to help him.

She stepped forward, closing the distance between them. This might be too much, but maybe it would help. And if it would help…

She laid her hands on his shoulders and lifted up on her toes, then pressed a kiss to his cheek.

His skin was warm. A little bristlier than she’d expected, though he’d shaved that morning. But so…

She pulled back, lowering to flat feet. But she kept her hands on his shoulders while she delivered her message. His eyes had gone even wider, but she didn’t let herself linger on that detail, just locked her gaze with his. “Take care of the telegram. Do all you need to do, then come home safely to us.”

Finally, she let herself see his response. Those wide eyes had narrowed. Darkened. And the expression in his gaze…

She’d only seen that look one other time, and only for a fleeting second before he’d masked it. The moment in the wagon when she’d gripped his hand. It was almost like…longing.

This time he didn’t cover the look. Both his hands came to her waist and gripped. The warmth of him, the strength in that hold…

He was lowering his head now, his mouth coming closer. Her mind had no time to react. She could do nothing but let her body take over.

She lifted her face to his.