Page 86 of Blissful Devotion

He doesn’t respond, but the silence that fills the room lets me know he heard me.

“What exactly do you propose?” I can hear how tight his voice is, but I applaud him for even asking. I’d half expected him to tell me to get fucked.

Thankfully, I’d had plenty of time to think of an answer to this exact question.

“You can still marry her on paper, but I want a ceremony with all of us. The papers are just that. They don’t matter to me so long as she’s a Lawson, which could happen four different ways.” I can’t help but chuckle; I honestly never thought this would be a reality. I’d agreed to share a woman, but for all four of us to actually agree and want her the way we want Kat…

Well, I didn’t believe in unicorns and dragons either, but who knows.

“But I want us to be able to look back on our wedding all together as a family. She’s ours, and I want to start the rest of our lives together, not with us sitting on the sidelines.”

Again, he’s quiet. I learned a long time ago not to push him, at least not when I actually want something, and I really want this.

I think the others would agree too; Kat isn’t just some girl. She’s our future, which means she would be our wife.

“I think she would like that, too.”

I sit up fast enough that my head spins, but even in the low light it’s impossible to miss the smirk on his face.

I hadn’t expected him to agree so easily.

“Really?”

“Really. But maybe we should actually ask her first.”

October

Nico is 5 months old today…

It doesn’t seem possible. It feels like just yesterday we got Kat back, and suddenly we're here.

Diapers, toys, baths, long nights, and early mornings—nothing like the future I thought I would have, but somehow it’s everything I could ever want.

And in all the chaos, we even found friends in some of the most dangerous people in the country.

Jade and Hazel both flew out to visit after Nico was born, but they couldn’t stay long; it was nice for Kat to have someone other than us.

It also worked out because Kat and Hazel actually got to meet. Hazel and her guys had helped a lot behind the scenes with finding Enzo, and she continues to do so as Kat’s friend but also as a licensed psychologist who specializes in trauma and PTSD, a degree she obtained to help with victims like those Jade helps to free.

Kat needed someone but refused; she didn’t want to talk about what happened or relive it, but Hazel knew at least most of it.

She’d been everything Kat needed, and as much as Jade was a badass, somehow the three of them got along great.

They had two days together, but something happened in those two days. I’m not sure if it’s a trauma response or something else, but they talk daily now.

We all do.

I’ve never been in so many damn group chats.

But through it all, one thing is for certain: Kat needs a break, a moment to breathe. We do as much as we can to help, but she’d only just started expressing a desire to pump, meaning even if we got up with him, she had to get up for every feeding.

Kat’s amazing, running the house despite the tiny one who now demands her boobs every four hours. Addy helps however she can too; she’s obsessed with being a big sister and being the best one she possibly can be. She’s already asked a few times for more babies.

Every day I wake up and feel amazed that this is my life, in awe of how life can change in such a short time.

Worried I’ll wake one day to find it was all just a dream, but even if I do, I’ll make the most of it until then.

I fasten the last button on my shirt, then wipe my hands on my dark jeans. It took me three tries to get it in the hole, my hands sweaty and my fingers unsteady.