Page 54 of Moth to a Flame

“You need to practice the chant.”

“What? Why? I don’t have magic.”

She shook her head. “The ritual channels the magic. The words are just another vehicle. Like the notes in your song. You need to learn them. For redundancy.”

“Redundancy? What for?”

She didn’t speak for a long time, but she couldn’t hide the despair that snuffed out the last bit of light inside her.

“In case…I can’t.”

She leaned against me, hiding her face in my shoulder.

“Whatever you need, Lucia.”

I’d do whatever she needed, even if breaking this bond felt like it was going to hurt worse than healing a torn wing. She’d dealt with so much. I wasn’t going to make this any harder than it needed to be. She deserved better than that.

I was good at putting my needs second.

I could do that for her.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The Ritual 2.0

I’d nearly fallen out of the sky three times trying to fly home. Hawk had caught me, just like he’d promised. But as we’d climbed the stairs, I’d placed a hesitant kiss on his cheek and then stepped into my room, closing the door behind me. It hadn’t stopped the pain and loneliness that had surged down our bond after, but I was used to that. It was what I’d been dealing with for years. He’d be happy again when he was free of me. When he could go home and get on with his life.

No crying, Lucia. He deserves better than that.

But they came anyway. My mind swirled around thoughts of tomorrow, of the ritual, and how breaking a bond that I never wanted felt like an insurmountable task. Not because I wasn’t ready, but because I knew what lay on the other side. Quiet. That unending quiet that had defined my life for five years. No shuffling around the kitchen as he made us tea, no creaking of rusty pipes as he fixed the sink that had been leaking in the bathroom for months, no soft fluttering of wings as he slept beside me.

There would be nothing.

I couldn’t think about that. I wasn’t strong enough.

I found an old bottle of valerian tincture in my bedside table and downed it. I let the darkness that had been my only loyal companion consume me, barely crawling into bed before falling unconscious.

“No—no! You’re still not pronouncing it right!”

Hawk squeaked as I reprimanded him, and my heart nearly burst.

“I’m sorry—I…I need space.” But I couldn’t get that. I fled the parlor but only got as far as the front porch before the bond tugged under my ribs. I pressed my forehead to the cool railing, my chest heaving as I tried to hold it all back.

Get your shit together. For him. You can do it.

Soft footsteps echoed on the porch behind me.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’ll do better. The pronunciation’s just hard with my tongue and⁠—”

I spun around, grabbing his face. “Don’t apologize. Please. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who⁠—”

I’m the one who’s so scared of losing you I’m ruining everything.

If I couldn’t get my damned emotions under control, I was going to ruin this ritual. And if I couldn’t break this spell, he would be trapped here with me, and no matter how he felt now, he would hate me. Of course he would. Love couldn’t bloom buried in obligation.

The word pulsed between us, and his wings twitched.

He put his hand on my chest. “Lucia, talk to me. Please.”