Page 23 of Compulsion

Louis thumped me on the shoulder. “Stupid pillock.”

I laughed. “You’re going to have to trust me on this one, though.” And I grabbed my jacket and left the flat.

Chapter Eleven

SEVE and I fucked in the park that night, around the back of the cricket pavilion. Not on the grass, because it was damp from a misty seaside evening and neither of us had a coat to lie on. And not slowly, either, because the police patrolled there at night. We dropped our jeans, and then Seve propped me up against the side of the pavilion so we were face to face. He hooked one of my legs up around his thigh and fucked me with quick, shallow strokes. It was fast and intense, and when I came, my gasp was a weird mix between a laugh and a cry.

We swiftly dressed again and leaned back against the wall for a while, gathering our breath. Despite the damp night, the weather had been good for a couple of days. Spring was handing over to the budding summer season, though with a slow mischief that was familiar to anyone who lived here. Tomorrow it could pour with rain again, I knew, so we’d made the most of the warm evening. I could hear the traffic in the distance along the main Eastern Road and a thread of distorted music from along the pier. A group of drunk young men passed on the far outskirts of the park. One looked over and yelled something obscene at us, but they continued on the same path. I watched until they turned a corner out of sight.

“You want to go back to the club and catch another drink?”

Seve shook his head. “No.” His eyes were clouded as they often were after orgasm. He didn’t look like he was concentrating on much, but his hand ran along my forearm, stroking me.

“So I’d better get back,” I said. I was just trying to find something to say. My legs ached from holding my position earlier, but the rest of my body was strangely restless too. Seve sighed aloud. That was all, but it triggered me somehow. “What else should I do?” I snapped. “You bitch about me upping and leaving all the time, but what the fuck else is there to do?”

He stared at me, startled. His dark pupils were like liquid fire in the gray shadow of the pavilion. To my weary astonishment, I felt my cock stir in response to my desire to see that flame lit again.

“You’re the one—”

“It’s safest to be the first to say it, right?” I couldn’t believe the bitterness in the words spilling out of me. “Before you tell me to piss off. Because that’s all this is, isn’t it? A fuck. I know that, I’m not stupid. I know the rules. And believe me, I’m the first to enjoy it. But that doesn’t mean you get all of me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Seve’s voice was low and angry. “What rules?”

“You know.” I wished I’d never started this, but the devil was in me tonight. “The rules that say we’re free to fuck anyone—no strings. This is just fun. You said it yourself once—what we want is no interference, no one running our life for us.”

Seve frowned. “I don’t remember. I’m not sure I meant….”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s true.”

He bit his lip. Saliva on the plump flesh glinted, a reflection of moonlight. “I never said it was anything different, Max.”

“No, I know.” My turn to sigh. And I didn’t ask, either.

“I don’t have a lot of time for myself, so I want to make the most of it. I am always busy with work.” He didn’t sound like he knew what to say next. I wondered if he had his staff give other exes the brush-off or if he just didn’t turn up one night. Like I realized I’d been dreading ever since the first night I met him. “The family has expectations.”

“Yeah, I know all about them.” I snorted.

Seemed that was a trigger for him too. “What does that mean? You don’t know anything about my business.”

I really, really wanted to snap back. I opened my mouth but closed it again quickly. Some kind of self-preservation had kicked in at last.

“Or do you?” He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. “Is that your problem?”

“Let go of me.”

“I’m not the only one keeping to myself, am I?”

“What the fuck? Just let go, let it drop.”

He did neither. “What do you know? What aren’t you saying?”

His grip was very tight, and I didn’t know whether the swell inside my gut was anger or fear. “I know very well what your family is capable of.”

He let go so suddenly I stumbled on the slippery grass. “Is that why you hold back?”

“Hold back? Shit, how can you say—”

“Not in sex,” he growled. “Dammit, you don’t listen properly, do you? I mean, you hold back yourself. Something’s stopping us—”