Page 231 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

‘It didn’t physically stop me like I thought. It…’ Kade swallows. ‘It changed my mind for me. Was that how it was for you?’

‘I only tried once, but yeah, pretty much.’

‘What made you turn back?’

‘You.’

The answer is immediate and quietly delivered.

It still lands hard.

‘Riley, what the fuck is this? Not even us, but this fucking curse thing and the bubble.’ Kade shifts closer. ‘It’s just us now. Please tell me we can talk about it, or at least… sign, write it down. Something.’

‘We can talk about it, but I need to ask… why did you go see Seth?’

‘I needed to see him and I wanted to apologise.’

‘Do you feel guilty?’

‘Do you not?’ Kade says before he can stop himself. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s just us here. You can be honest.’

‘Then yes. I felt guilty and, despite what he did, I felt like I owed him an apology. He died under my control.’

‘I did that.’

‘Through me.’

Riley says, ‘You didn’t know.’

‘That doesn’t make it any better.’ Riley’s expression hardens. ‘I told him to belong to us forever. To be faithful until the bitter end. Nothing he wouldn’t do for Iron Star, for you. He died protecting Lachlan. He’d never have done that of his own free will.’

‘He chose to pull that grenade.’

‘Did he?’

‘Seth made his choices long before you used the Vox. He chose to betray Iron Star. He chose to bring those PMCs into our home. Everything after that was the consequence of his own shitty actions, and I won’t have you waste a moment of time torturing yourself over it. Understood?’

‘Riley, have you really been using me to control people?’

‘We have skills others don’t.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘You’re persuasive and I’m intuitive.’

‘I won’t let you trick me into doing it again.’

‘Do yourself a favour and embrace reality for a second instead of dancing around it,’ Riley warns, ‘and recognise that every single second Seth had outside of that holding room was borrowed time. You asked for it, and so you paid for it. Don’t expect me to sit here and shed tears over the piece of shit who sold us out. He got to die doing something decent. That’s more than he deserved. And I didn’t trick you into anything. You Vox when you’re desperate or determined, or both. Sometimes it’s useful to us.’

‘That’s cold.’

‘Am I wrong?’

Kade looks away. ‘No.’

‘Good. Then save this shit for when we have time to sulk.’