Page 85 of All the way home

Tove laughs, then shouts over her shoulder, muffled with her hand covering the mic. “Kathy! Your life choices are inflicting further trauma on your eldest son!”

“Is that him?” Mom’s voice is scratchy through the speaker.

“Yeah—you want in on this?”

Across the table, Kieran is watching with unguarded amusement.

“I’m putting you on speaker.” Zach pulls the phone from his ear.

“We’re on speaker!” Tove announces loudly. “Nobody say any fucking bad words.”

“Good Lord,” Zach says faintly.

Kieran’s grin is wider than Zach’s seen it all night.

“I’ve made a”—Zach chances a smile at Kieran—“friend.”

“You?” Tove gasps.

“Hey. I’m capable.”

“Uh-huh.”

Erik pipes up. “Is that why we’re on speaker?”

“Yes. He doesn’t believe me about the name thing.”

Erik lets out an over-loud hoot.

“The name thing is unfortunately true,” Tove says. “Right, Mom?”

Mom’s voice is still muffled. “I thought I already atoned for my sins.”

“How?” Tove asks.

“I had to raise Erik,” she calls out, and when Erik shouts an objection, she laughs, long and loud.

Zach shakes his head, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

A muffled thump in the background—like someone walloped someone else with a pillow—followed by Erik’s shriek of laughter has Tove gasping. “Things are deteriorating here, dude. You gotta come home.”

Zach laughs. “You know I can’t control him.”

“Yeah, but he’ll bother you instead,” Tove says. “Right, Erik?”

Erik’s laughter fades as he races out of the room.

Mom sighs, crackly. “Your energy is sorely missed, it’s true.”

“I’ll be back soon.” Zach can’t stop smiling. “See you in a little while.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Mom says, and then she starts making kissy noises that are so truly heinous that Zach hangs up.

As soon as the call disconnects, Kieran shakes his head. “You’re all fucking with me.”

“Yes.” Zach nods solemnly. “We all conspired on an alternate set of names just to fuck with you.”

“I wouldn’t even be that surprised. What the fuck? I mean—Zacchaeus? Isn’t that biblical? With the solstice thing, I thought you weren’t religious.”