Page 76 of Demonic Affliction

Cin nods. “Yes. It won’t be long, now.”

I don't like the sound of that. I rub my arms, expecting to find some residue from the hive, yet I find nothing but clean, soft skin.

Before I can ask, Cin explains, “Healing pools. You were half conscious when we came here. Your mates did not think you would mind if they cleaned you.”

I bite my lip, grateful they cleaned me of that awful fluid that those creatures covered me with. “Where are the others?”

Cin points at a small shadowed tunnel I hadn’t noticed in the dark. “They are just in the other cavern, where the healing pools are. They would have stayed with you, but…their injuries were extensive. It’s best if they sleep in the water.”

“Vhalthor?”

“He and his remaining soldiers are with them.” Cin’s gaze hardens. “Vhalthor lost many.”

I look down at my hands, guilt clenching my chest. Those soldiers followed us in here because their king decided to come, and their king decided to come because of me. Most of them are still out there in the frozen dark. Alone. I send out a silent plea that their souls end up somewhere better than this place.

“What about you?” I ask, my voice cracking slightly. “Aren’t you tired?” Remembering the image of Cin’s mauled wing, I add, “Shouldn’t you be in the pools with the others?”

“I should. But I needed to see your eyes open before I closed mine for even a moment.” He stares at me unblinking, his gaze burning into my soul. “Are you really alive, serafyn?” he asks, laying a shaking palm on my cheek. “Or is this another twisted daydream of mine?”

“I’m here,” I promise. “I’m here. I’m alive. I’m okay.”

He lets out a breath, his entire body slumping with relief. "Thank the gods."

I lie back on the ice, and Cin lowers himself down beside me. Just that slight movement pains him. I can see it in the way his jaw clenches, and his eyes crease with agony—but he doesn’t call attention to it. Instead, he takes a deep breath and turns his head.

I've seen Cin sad before. This is not that. This is heavier, soul-crushing, and underneath it is a longing so deep and unguarded that it takes my breath away.

“What is it?” I ask. “What’s wrong?”

His expression crumbles. “I thought… I thought I was going to lose you. When I heard you scream, when those things took you away, I was sure you were…” He doesn’t finish. “All I kept thinking was how I could not go on if you were gone. I could not… I would not survive it.”

“Cin…”

“Please”—he gasps—“just… please, let me get this out. I don’t… I won’t get another chance, Willow. I’m worried about how fast I’m slipping. The pieces are getting harder to hold on to, and I… I don’t think I have much time left.”

“That’s not true. We’re going to fix it, Cin.”

“There is no fixing me,” he says. “This is how I was made. Unwhole. Wrong.” He closes his eyes tight, his face creasing in pain. “I am a danger to my brothers and myself. But what’s even worse is I am a danger to you. Someone so good, and sweet, and pure of heart.” He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “That’s what makes this so much harder.”

“What… what do you mean?”

He reaches for me.

The movement is slow, and it clearly hurts him, but his hand finds my arm and pulls, and I let him take my weight. He draws me across his chest, one arm sliding over my shoulders, the other locking around my lower back, and then he just holds me there.

I can hear his heart going too fast beneath my ear, and his ribs shudder every time he takes a breath. His hand moves to the back of my head, fingers spreading through my hair, holding me against him. His chin comes down to rest on the top of my head, and I feel the violent shudder that runs through his body.

“I don’t want to be without you, Willow.” His deep voice cracks over every other word. “I can’t—not any more. Not now that I know what it is to love you. Not now when my soul has found its home in you. When I can scarcely breathe to be away from you. When the thought of lying alone in the furs without your head on my chest makes me want to die.”

“Cin…”

I raise my head, and as our eyes meet, he takes a ragged breath. The slits of his pupils are so slim, it looks like they’ve disappeared entirely, and the emotion creasing his face breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces. “Willow… my Willow. I am so hopelessly, pitifully in love with you, it makes me want to rip my teeth out. I can’t bear to be near you any more than I can survive being apart from you. It’s driving me mad—and I know madness, my sweet serafyn. I cannot tolerate this… this torture. Please, Willow… put me out of my misery.”

I lean down, pressing my forehead to his thrumming chest. I have no idea which words to say to convey the depth of what I fell for Cin. Only…

“I love you too, Cin,” I say. “I love you, and I’m yours.”

I reach up and press a kiss to his forehead, lingering there a moment longer than I should. I want more than this. I want to know what it's like to kiss the male I just confessed my love to. But I already know there's nothing left beneath his mask to kiss, anyway.