Page 37 of Convincing the Catcher

I may be a virgin, but I don’t really want it broadcasted for the entire campus to know. Not that I think Haven would tell anyone—I know she wouldn’t. But it’s something I keep to myself. I’m not ashamed of it, and I’m also not saving myself for marriage either. I just … I don’t know. I guess, in high school, I was so laser-focused on being good enough at softball to play in college. And now that I’m here, I haven’t gotten close enough with a guy to give up my V-card.

Though I might have fantasized about a certain baseball player last night when I was alone in my bed …

But that’s normal. It doesn’t mean anything, I’m sure. It can’t mean anything because I still don’t have time to date or fall in love. Where would that fit between softball, classes, and my father being sick?

Exactly … no where.

“I don’t even know if he’s going to be there tonight.” I think back to our text convo the other day and what he told me about what he does for Halloween, and I try not to smile because it’s so cute and totally unexpected. “He passes out candy to trick-or-treaters at his mom and dad’s house.”

With her eyes wide, she gawks at me. “Seriously?” When I nod, she repeats the word once more. “Seriously?”

“Yep.” I bob my head up and down. “I know. For a guy who spray-painted another team’s dugout, I wouldn’t have expected it myself.”

Haven comments something like, if I don’t tackle him, she will, but my mind gets lost in the image of Cane Hale in his NEU baseball hoodie and hat, handing out candy to random kids on his parents’ porch.

Now, that’s a picture that would save him on social media.

Although people seem to really be laying off. And I don’t think it has much to do with me. I think they’ve just found someone else to go after because that’s how the world works.

Grabbing my phone, I exhale. “Let me just look at my level, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

Once I check everything over, I start toward the hallway, and Haven follows me out of my room.

“I just have to grab my phone; it’s charging in my room, and then let’s go!” she says, sprinting past me like she’s headed to shortstop and this is a game.

The house has been on the quieter side, especially since there’s a huge Halloween party happening at The Lookout tonight.

I haven’t even seen Isla today. I’m sure she’s off somewhere with Hendrix Hunt, her new boyfriend. A few of the girls who live here already left for the party, but I knew Haven would take forever to get ready, so I took my sweet-ass time. I called my mom and checked in back home too. And now I just feel … off.

I’d give anything to pick up the phone and talk to my dad right now. I’d skip this party to tell him about practice today and how much my hitting velocity has improved since last year, but when I spoke with my mom earlier, he wasn’t feeling up to talking. In fact, he was just sleeping, like he has been for nearly two weeks.

“All right, babes!” Haven says, appearing from her room. “Let’s go.”

I start to turn toward the door when movement from the top of the stairs stops me. Savannah peeks down at us over the railing, wearing a Lola Bunny costume.

“Hey, can I walk over with you guys?” she calls down. “Kali left already.”

“Sure!” Haven says, looking her over. “You look fucking adorable, by the way.”

“You really do,” I add because she does.

I’m over here, dressed like I’m headed to jail. Meanwhile, she’s the cutest Lola Bunny I’ve ever seen. It’s fitting, too, because Savannah is on the NEU women’s basketball team. A point guard, I think.

“Thanks!” she says cheerfully as she gets to the bottom step.

Savannah is insanely pretty. She has blonde hair, golden skin like the sun kissed it, and ocean-blue eyes. The opposite of me with my red hair and green eyes. She’s certainly taller than Haven and me too. But, I suppose, to play basketball at a Division 1 college, she’d have to be tall.

As we all make our way out the door and head down the road, I try to shake off whatever mood I’m in.

Boring as it probably makes me sound, I don’t like parties. They’re too loud. Too crowded. And there’s always too many smells floating through the air, and I find it repulsive.

My eyes sweep the room, and I hate that I’m looking around for Cane as much as I am. He already told me he had plans, but he did also say he may swing in later.

Haven is in the middle of the dance floor, turning heads from the way her body moves to the music. With a cup in her hand, it’s clear she’s drinking, and I make a mental note to make sure she gets home safely tonight, even if a big part of me wants to take off.

Her eyes find mine, and right away, a grin spreads across her face, and she comes over and hauls me out onto the makeshift dance floor with her. Despite not loving parties, I’m a pretty good dancer, and the best part is, I don’t even need liquid courage either. I’d just much rather dance in my room, alone or with my friends, than at this party, surrounded by all these drunk people. But oh well, I guess. I told my friend I’d come here tonight and make the best of it, so here I am.

A group of us girls dance. And song after song, if I can just block out the fact that I’m the world’s worst daughter, I’m enjoying myself a little bit. That is, until a pair of lips is right by my ear, and suddenly, my entire body freezes up.