Page 84 of Convincing the Catcher

“No chance, Meadows,” he says instantly. “And I know he’s over at The Tower, probably wishing he could see you, but trying to be the respectful man that he is by giving you space.”

I look from Hendrix to Isla and back out the window. My heart begins to race, and I nervously run my hand over my slick ponytail. I hit the screen of my watch, which shows me I have two minutes. With no time to waste, I slide my shoes on, and I rush out the door without another word.

I leave the two lovebirds alone, which is probably what they’ve been waiting for, even though they’ve both hung out with me all night.

And just like a month ago, I run. Only now, I’m running to Cane and not away from him.

Oh, and I have shoes on this time, too.

I gaze around the room, scared that I might find Cane with someone else, but understanding that may be a consequence to my choice of pushing him away. Though, even now, I know it’s what I had to do.

A tap on my shoulder has me whipping around, and I find a pair of familiar eyes on mine.

“He’s in his room,” Cash says, smiling. “Went up there about ten minutes ago, I’d say.”

Cash looks undeniably like his brother, though his hair is a shade or two darker, making it a light brown, whereas Cane’s is a dirty-blond color.

“Thank you.” I step past him quickly and rush down the hallway and to his door.

As I turn the knob, I find it’s locked, and before I can even think, I’m banging on it when I hear everyone in the house start counting down from ten as the New Year closes in.

“Cane? Are you in there?” I call out before it hits me hard that he may not be alone.

My hand drops down from the door, and I take a step back, wondering what the hell I should do. My stomach begins to feel sick, but it’s quickly gone when he opens the door, and I see that he’s not only alone, but fully clothed.

“Harland?” He frowns, looking at me.

Maybe this isn’t the right thing to do. Maybe he needs more time to get himself better, and perhaps I’m not ready for this either. But I don’t care because I’ve come to realize that life is short. And even though I ignored the fact that he told me he loved me the last time we talked, I love him too. With everything inside of me, I love this man.

“Three … two … one! Happy New Year!” voices cheer loudly.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I fling my body toward him, standing on my tippy-toes and dragging his face closer to mine.

I kiss him, and even though he doesn’t react instantly, within a few seconds, his arms loop around my waist, and he kisses me. He kisses me with so much passion that I know without a second-guess that he’s missed me the way that I’ve missed him. And when we finally come up for air, both our chests heaving and our eyes wild, I take him in fully.

“Happy New Year,” I whisper.

“Happy New Year,” he mimics, keeping his arms tightly secured around my waist.

“I’ve missed you,” I squeak. “So. So much. And I know what I said. I know I told you I don’t do distractions and I don’t date. And that’s always been true—until you came along.” I word-vomit, feeling the need to get everything out so he knows where I stand. “But I want both. I want to play softball, hopefully professionally one day, and I want you.” I wet my now dry lips. “When you said you loved me, I ignored it. I ignored it because I knew that your brother was right. And I also knew that I was in no position to be in a relationship until I could face my grief.” I pause, my hands running up and down his sides.

“I do love you, Cane. I have loved you since the night you took care of me in Montana when my sugar level was low. I fought it because I’m stubborn, and I guess I was afraid that loving you somehow meant I couldn’t love softball or give it all of me. But I’ve seen you pitch; I’ve watched you on the field. You have the same drive, the same love. I know you do.” My breath hitches. “And after the time apart, I can look back and know one thing to be true.” I swallow. “In my darkest hour, when all I wanted to do was fall … it was you who held me up.” Tears soak my lashes; my chest burns like it’s on fire. “And no matter what happens, I needed you to know that.”

He releases one hand from my waist and brushes it against my hair. “You did the right thing,” he murmurs. “Walking away from me that night.”

When those words are out in the world, my heart sinks. Before I can drop my hold from him though, he opens his mouth again, and I’m even more afraid.

“I did need to face my shit. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to fix everyone else, but I didn’t ever want to look in the mirror and figure out what I needed.” His thumb strokes my cheek. “You—and my brother—forced me to do that.”

I swear that my heart stops beating, and I hold my breath as I wait for whatever he’s going to say next. Probably that he’s better off without me, and I couldn’t even be mad because I pushed him to the realization. I don’t run, though, because whatever he’s going to say, I need to hear it.

“A month probably isn’t enough time to heal fourteen years of suppressed feelings. I’m sure that it’s not.” He sighs. “But it’s enough to be on the path of being a better man. It’s enough for me to love you the way that you deserve to be loved.” His head dips toward mine. “I’m not perfect yet, and I probably won’t ever be. But if what you’re saying is that you’re ready to give us—me and you—a shot, I will not fail at that. I may fuck up other shit in my life, but not when it comes to you and me. I promise you that.”

I let his words sink in, and my lip trembles. “So, even after this month, even after working on yourself, you still love me? It wasn’t just … you saying it to make things better? Or trying to take away my pain from losing my dad?”

His eyes study my entire face, and he grins. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

“Catch, I’ve loved you for a while now. And it has nothing to do with fixing you and everything to do with the fact that for months, you’ve consumed every part of me. Your strength is what drew me in, making you undeniable, but in those moments where you trusted me with no hesitation? When I felt like I was the one person who truly knew every part of you? That’s when I knew that I was a fucking goner.” He bends down and kisses me. “I’m in love with you, Catch. And I want to show you too.”