Page 63 of The Love Operation

“I can’t believe that surprises you.” She shakes her head. “How would you feel if one of your research subjects decided to go rogue? What if they started running their own experiments?”

“I wouldn’t like it,” I admit. “But this is different.”

“How?” The crook of her mouth challenges me.

“It doesn’t affect your data.”

“How can you be sure?” she volleys.

I start to respond, but she cuts me off.

“You can’t just poke around in your past. Memories can be dangerous. Weren’t you listening earlier? HSAM isn’t just recall. It’s a form of reliving, and people can get stuck in their worst moments. The grief doesn’t fade—it returns. It can hold you hostage. And that changes you—your emotions, your outlook, your reactions.” She exhales sharply. “Yes, I have a hypothesis for why you detach cognitively when you do this, but that doesn’t change anything.” She shakes her head, utterly dismissive, tone final. “No. I can’t allow this. I won’t.”

A tense silence stretches between us.

“What if I tell you I’m going to do it anyway?” I say.

Her eyes widen. Then she straightens. Her voice is sharp as a scalpel. “Then I’ll drop you from the study.”

I blink. “You’d abandon your own research?”

“I would. Because the integrity of this study is important. You are important to me. And I am responsible here.”

“So you were willing to bend the rules when it benefited your research, but you won’t bend the rules to help me?”

“Don’t act like you aren’t getting something already. Your memory has improved. But that’s all I can give you. You won’t guilt me into agreeing to this.”

We steep in a tangible silence. It’s like a tea bag leaching out into the atmosphere around us.

Delenn finally shatters the quiet. “I need you to promise me that you won’t do this.”

“Delenn—”

“I’m serious. Promise me, or we stop this experiment right now.”

I can’t let that happen. We’re doing something incredible here. I know it. I feel it.

I say nothing because I can’t. I can’t make that promise when I know I won’t abide by it.

She exhales sharply. “Fine.” Then her voice turns cold. “I didn’t know you’d be this selfish—that you’d throw away everything for your own personal gain.”

Her words jab like a dull knife.

“Okay, okay!” I throw up my hands. “I promise. This is too big to stop now.”

Why did I say anything? But I know why. I saw my friend inside the scientist, and I was hoping she’d be willing to work alongside me as I work alongside her.

She studies me. “Swear it, Cord.”

“I give you my word.”

She holds my gaze, a long, searching look. “If I find out you’ve broken your word,” she says. Her voice cracks—just slightly—but the steel is still there. “I won’t keep the Isaac information to myself.”

My stomach turns, and I stiffen. “You’re threatening me?”

A flicker of regret crosses her face, but she doesn’t take it back. “I’m not threatening you. If you keep your word, I’ll keep mine.”

This feels ugly.