Page 149 of Pumpkin Spice Promises

“No.” The word barely came out. Meme reached for me and I shoved her away. “No.”

“Carson—”

“No this isn’t real, I’m dreaming.” My heart monitor started screaming. The nurse said something about breathing. I couldn’t even if I tried. There wasn’t enough air in the entire hospital to fill my lungs.

“No, no, no.” I touched the bandages and instantly regretted it as a searing pain erupted. “I can feel my foot, but it’s not there!” I cried in panic.

The nurse spoke softly. “Phantom sensation can⁠—”

“My foot hurts.”

“I know, honey.”

“No, you don’t. My foot hurts, but there is no foot!” I started crying. Not graceful tears. Not quiet tears. Noises broke out of me that didn’t sound human.

Meme climbed onto the edge of the bed despite every wire attached to me and wrapped both arms around my shoulders.

I fought her. “I need my leg,” I sobbed, chest heaving with cries.

“I know.”

“I can’t race without both legs.”

“I know, baby.”

“No, you don’t understand.”

“I do.”

“I have finals.”

She cried harder.

“I’m supposed to go to Tennessee.”

Nobody said anything. That silence told me everything. I looked toward the door.

“Pops.”

Meme’s eyes closed.

“I want Pops.”

“He’ll be back any minute.”

“I need him.”

“I know.”

“He’ll know how to fix it.” The second the words left my mouth, something in Meme’s face collapsed. I didn’t understand why. Not then. Pops fixed everything.

The truck wouldn’t start?

Pops.

Blueberry had a bad day?

Pops.