Page 217 of Pumpkin Spice Promises

“Let me try again.” I stood with Blueberry until my breathing slowed. Then I moved the mounting block back into position.

“You ready?”

“No.”

His mouth twitched. “Good answer.”

I put my hand on the saddle. This time, when I mounted, I didn’t ask myself whether I looked like the girl in the photograph.

I didn’t think about championships.

I didn’t think about how fast Blueberry once carried me around three barrels.

Blueberry breathed beneath me.

“Don’t move yet.”

Beau’s hand remained near her bridle. “We won’t.”

Eventually, my grip loosened.

“One step at a time, I’m right here.”

I nodded at his encouragement. Blueberry moved with his guidance, my entire body tensed in fear.

Then she stopped.

Another step.

Then another.

We made it halfway across the arena before I asked Blueberry to stop.

I sat there beneath the fading October light with tears drying on my cheeks and both hands trembling against the reins.

I hadn’t ridden. Not really. Not the way I once understood the word.

There had been no barrels.

No speed.

Blueberry had taken maybe twenty steps…

Five years ago, I would’ve considered that nothing. Tonight, it felt enormous.

I looked toward Beau. “I want to get down.”

“Okay.”

This time, I didn’t hate the word.

I dismounted carefully. When both feet were secure, I rested my forehead against Blueberry’s neck. She stood patiently while I cried.

Blueberry turned her head and nudged my shoulder. I laughed through the tears and wrapped my arms around her neck.

“I missed you, too.”

Behind me, Beau remained quiet.