Page 132 of The Tryout

I nod, not quite able to meet his eyes. The truth is I’m not dreaming of a trip to Key West or Maui or wherever the fuck anyone else is going. I’m dreaming of a too-big blanket on a too-big couch in Des Moines, Iowa.

“I need to get going, okay? My Uber will be here any minute.”

“Can I…can I come with you?”

Even I don’t know if I mean downstairs or to the airport or back home to Des Moines.

But Avery knows the answer anyway. He brings his finger under my chin, lifting it until I meet his eyes, until I see him shaking his head.

No.

“Don’t make this harder, okay Finn? Play hard. The spot is yours if you want it.”

He leans down and kisses me softly, then grabs the suitcase and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

And I lay on the bed, holding his pillow and wishing it were him.

Traveling with an NHL team is nothing like traveling in the AHL, in ways I never could have anticipated. When the guys had told me that we’d be flying, I’d thought back to my experiences flying back and forth between Minneapolis and Des Moines – an uncomfortable seat not quite large enough for my body, and the annoying choice of waiting for my luggage or trying to squeeze it into an overhead bin.

This is nothing like that.

Instead of narrow seats squeezed three to a side with no leg room, the seats are wide and comfortable, with several groups of four seats around small tables in the front of the plane. Toward the back, the seats are in more typical row arrangements, but even there the legroom is significant, allowing even the tallest players to stretch out their legs.

Speaking of tall, Alexei Kovalenko seems to have designated himself as my seatmate for this trip, gesturing me toward a window seat at the table where Ethan and Jamie are already sitting. In addition to being a top-tier goalie, Kovy is Ethan’s closest friend on the team, and a frequent visitor to the house in Loring Park.

As he settles in, I take my phone out of my pocket, grabbing a quick photo to send to Avery.

“Do you want in the picture? I can take it.”

I blush at this, realizing I must look like a tourist. Still, I can’t help but want to document this experience.

“Um, if you don’t mind? I just want to send a picture to my boyfriend.”

Jamie’s eyes dart toward me, a smile on his face.

Alexei, after spending more than the usual amount of time framing the photo, hands it back to me.

“Boyfriend? Who is this boyfriend?”

I’m a little startled at his questioning, and it occurs to me that I’ve made the assumption he’ll be okay with me having a boyfriend. I look to Ethan, hoping for some guidance.

“Alexei, you’re scaring the children.”

Alexei looks at Ethan, all innocence.

“What? We have to make sure his boyfriend is worthy of him. Cannot have our winger taken out by heartbreak!”

It turns out that flying in style is considerably less nervewracking than flying economy, especially with Kovy sharing stories of how terrible Ethan and Jamie were at keeping their relationship secret last season.

The flight is just the first of several on a West Coast road trip, though, and by the time we’re in Calgary on New Year’s Eve, I decide that I would happily fly economy again, if only I could fly home.

That night, as the hours tick closer to midnight, we pull out an overtime 3-2 win. One of the goals is mine, which means that Jamie and Ethan demand I join them at the bar afterward to celebrate. As I head to the hotel lobby to catch an Uber, I notice Coach Ramsey sitting in a chair.

Deciding it would be rude to ignore him, I give a small wave, wondering if he’s planning to sit there until every last one of us is back.

“Congrats, Murphy,” he says, nodding my way.

Confused, I give him a smile before getting in my waiting car.