Page 91 of Pareidolia

He can’t do both.

I should be dead, and Nox can’t keep funneling all of his energy into me and fight—the wounds on his body aren’t closing because he’s too busy keeping me whole.

I don’t know if an ancient shadow can die, but I’m not willing to find out.

He isn’t going to drag himself down because of me.

He isn’t going to die because of me.

I was made to eventually fade… Nox is supposed to live forever, but even the red of his wings looks dull as drips of shadows spill from his chest and pool to my skin.

“A… Alex?” As he stirs again, Noah’s eyes are wide—clear for the first time—before Nox flings him across the room. The loud, sickening crack as he slams against the wall makes me wonder if he’ll get up again.

The twist of the blade in my chest makes me realize I won’t be around to see it.

But it’s working.

I think his shadows know…

Too damaged.

Too broken.

He can’t save me now.

The liquid inside me starts to spill out… back to Nox.

Back to where it’s supposed to be. I’m still looking at him when he realizes it—looking as a tendril finally snakes out and wraps around Ewan’s throat, flinging him away from me.

It all happens in less than a breath that I can’t draw.

Knife in—shadows out. No more Noah, no more Ewan. Just a blade in my chest and Nox staring at me with shocked, red eyes.

I didn’t think a sociopath could really be the self-sacrificing type, but I guess that only applies when you aren’t full to the brim with someone else’s shadows.

Nox standing there, his chest heaving, black blood spilling from his body because he’s trying to keep me alive…

I can’t do it.

I drag the knife from my chest with numb fingers, faintly aware that I should already be dead, so obviously I haven’t done enough. I’m usually good at this—why is it so hard to kill myself?

Taking it out should make me bleed faster. I grab at the thread connecting us and pull as hard as I can, trying to free him from me.

“N… Nmn…” I can’t get his name out as I start to fall to the ground. Tendrils spill forward, catching me so I’m suspended in the air as Nox roars. He throws himself, slamming into Ewan Daniels and sliding his fingers into his mouth. It’s all a blur—his shadows wrapping around his throat and Nox tearing up.

The top half of Ewan’s head falling to the ground beside me, his brown eyes wide and terrified and full of pain.

In the end, he was just a father trying to protect the only son he had left from the monsters. I don’t blame him for stabbing me, and I don’t blame Noah for trying to save me.

There were no villains in this house—just broken men.

Broken men that Nox and I both broke…

Broken men and monsters.

And I…

I try to turn my head to look at my monster now—the black in my chest is slowly pooling out of the hole there and slipping back to him.