Page 175 of The Way the Heart Breaks: Jade’s Story

Last night, Jade called me from her house as she was packing a bag to let me know she was staying at Tessa’s. Lucas called me shortly after that and told me he was probably going to stay home with her. He had still not calmed down.

I reminded him that probably wasn’t a wise move since he’s the fucking quarterback of Blue Valley High’s football team, and we have a game that he needs to play in, not sit on the bench for. I told him Jade was already planning to stay there and reminded him that she had a shit ton of family. I also reminded him that the girl who fucking walked off the field after fracturing her ankle was serious enough about the sport to be considered an athlete. And an athlete wouldn’t advise him to fuck off and play house with his girlfriend instead of taking the goddamn game seriously.

Yeah, I started just like that. Which is probably why he didn’t say shit for a good minute.

I tried to stay strong, but then I exhaled.

“We’ve got a good shot at this. And I can’t fucking believe I’m admitting this, but I want this more than I ever have. I want you and me to do this thing together, but I keep imagining how fucking awesome it will be if we do it as a foursome.”

Lucas laughs. “I cannot fucking believe I’m gonna say this, but the idea of a foursome just made me puke a little in my mouth when it comes to that fucking blonde.”

“If you think for a minute that I would share the fucking brunette, you’re out of your goddamn mind, Links.”

“We are both totally fucked.” He says it like it pains him, and yeah, it makes me fucking happy. Real fucking happy, because this is him wanting something more than football. This is him actually believing he deserves it, regardless of the shit Sadi put him through. Fucking bitch.

I slept like a baby last night. Feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, the one Mom placed there when she acted like a cunt and threw my best friend to the fucking wolves.

So yeah, I’m driving into Blue Valley feeling good, with a whole bag full of breakfast sandwiches. I’m gonna go hang out with my girl, my best friend, and do family the way I always knew it should be done. I just obviously needed a reminder. Just like Lucas needed a reminder that not every fucking person in his life besides me wanted him to be their goddamn show pony.

I pull in. I see Lucas’s vehicle already in the driveway. He gets out when I turn off the engine and park behind him, and we walk into the house together.

“We’re just walking in here like we own the place?” I whisper.

Lucas chuckles. “Alex told me to.”

Rounding the corner into the living room, Alex is leaning against the wall, holding his finger over his mouth and telling us to, “Shh.”

And that’s when I hear Tessa and Jade talking.

We both stop. Lucas looks at me. I look at him. Neither of us says a word as Tessa’s voice carries through the room.

“She made me get a fucking exam, and it was Dr. Feel Good himself who walked in there. I lost it, screamed at him, told him I wasn’t a virgin, and my boyfriend and I don’t use protection. Told him not to look at me like he was judging when he was fucking around with a married woman. My mom!”

“Oh God, Tessa I⁠—”

“I made him leave, told Mom she wasn’t allowed in. An NP did the exam with a fucking machine that looked like it had robot arms. The Vagatron⁠—”

“Eww, like the ones they showed in health class?” Jade asks.

“Yeah, and let me tell you, you were right, Jade, stirrups that didn’t involve a pony ride. The vagina spotlight. The finger in the ass. The clamp in my vagina. Being put on the pill.”

I want to crawl out a window, maybe even throw myself into traffic. This is horrific, and yeah. It gets fucking worse.

Tessa keeps talking. “I hate my mother for putting me through what felt a lot like someone touching me without permission. On her say-so. And I hate myself for feeling sorry for her when she walked out last night, in tears.”

Jade starts crying. “So do I. I’m so sorry, Tessa.”

“Don’t cry. It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not stupid.”

I look at Lucas again. He’s staring at the floor. Alex, he looks like he wants to murder someone, and lucky us, we’re the only ones available.

“I need another bath,” she says.

“Okay,” Jade answers.

There’s a pause.