Page 190 of The Way the Heart Breaks: Jade’s Story

I'm excited about seeing what's next after graduation.

Last night, after I got off the phone with Jade, I started considering joining the Army. They sent me a letter offering me a spot on their team at West Point if my grades improved. I wouldn't need to kiss my parents' ass or stress about a scholarship. Lucas would go to a top school and not settle for somewhere just to make sure I could play. Pro would be cool, but that’s not the only thing that matters anymore.

I could do my four years there, then Jade and I could see the world together.

She's on my mind constantly, and I know it. I love watching her play. I love sitting in the stands and watching her become someone completely different from the girl I know in the hallways, in the car, and in those woods where she showed me what beauty was through her eyes.

She's focused. Fierce. She sees things before they happen. She throws herself into the game like there isn't anything else in the world.

And I love knowing that when I look into the stands during one of my games, she's there. Every time I find her, something in my chest settles.

Football has always been the thing I knew how to do. The thing people expected from me. The thing I was good at. But now I have someone I want to look for when I do it. And I see the same in her when I'm at her games.

Neither one of us needs the other standing beside us on the field to feel like we're doing it together. That's probably what I like most. She's her. I'm me. And somehow, we're better because of it.

The first football game feels like it happened months ago. I can still remember looking into the stands after that first touchdown and finding her, giving her the J I promised.

She laughed. I couldn't hear it, but I imagined it. It's seared into my memories as one of my favorite sounds. I fucking love that laugh.

And she gives me a T, not a timeout.

I like her friends, her teammates. I like watching Phoebe become part of the group, the new girl not being bullied because she's a threat, but brought into the inner circle because she's fucking awesome.

It's the same with Lucas and me. We came in hot and knew we were not wanted. Just like summer leagues, they hated seeing us show up.

But the two players we knew would be our biggest problems weren’t a problem because of ego. Not because they were jealous of us or wanted to see us fail. No, it was so much deeper than that.

And now? Now we're a team on and off the field. Somehow, we're becoming a family, and that makes us unstoppable.

And then there's photography.

Jesus Christ. I never would've picked that class if I had a choice. Seeing Jade through that opening between the rooms, it was serendipitous. I think that's the word. Or maybe I'm just seeing hearts and flowers where helmets and pads used to be. Doesn't matter. It's fate. Her and me together, it was meant to be.

And yeah, I was raised in a household where religion was enforced. Then I saw how fake as fuck my mother's charity was, and I stopped believing. Actually, I mocked faith. Likened it to a fairy tale. That changed on Tessa's birthday, watching Jade sing.

I realize now that religion is the organization of faith, and sometimes the leaders and congregation muddy it; then faith is tested. But I have to believe that God brought me around by showing me exactly where I'm supposed to be.

So, me falling in love wasn’t by happenstance or a serendipitous moment; it was fate.

Deep in my soul, I know I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with Jade Ross.

How lucky am I?

I'm soaking up those moments, being patient, knowing I have forever to watch the way the afternoon light hits her hair. Hear her laugh. Go on hikes with her on Saturday afternoons when we have no games.

Last weekend, we went to the Glen, and I carried her on my back up those stairs. At the top, there was another hiker, so I handed him the camera and asked him to take a picture of us.

Then, yeah, Jade said we should do the Rocky pose.

So, we did.

Life and love are so much better with Jade.

My little freshman buddy is a badass, not just in photography but in the darkroom. He’s teaching me how to develop film, and today he’s helping me develop the most important picture on this roll.

“Little dude, I’m trusting you with one of the most important things in my life.”

“It’s the woods, not football,” he laughs.