Page 82 of Dreamscape Therapies

Jay's hand shifts closer to mine on the table. He doesn't touch me, but I know he's there.

"I was working constantly back then. The bar was growing, and I was trying to keep everything running. Trent hated that. He wanted more of my attention, and I tried to give it to him. I'd come home exhausted and he'd be upset because I hadn't called enough. I'd cancel plans with friends because he was upset about something. I'd rearrange my schedule because he needed me."

I give a humorless laugh.

"Eventually, I realized I was spending most of my time trying to prevent him from being angry with me."

Dany's expression changes slightly.

Not belief, but maybe a slight understanding.

"And when I couldn't prevent it, I'd spend even more time trying to figure out what I'd done wrong."

I rub my palms against my jeans.

"That's what made it so confusing. He'd get upset over something, and I'd ask him what I did. Sometimes he'd tell me. Sometimes he'd say I should already know. Sometimes he'd tell me I was being insensitive for asking."

I shake my head.

"Do you know how exhausting it is to constantly feel like you're failing a test you don't know you're taking?"

Dany looks down at her hands.

I continue before I can lose my nerve.

"I started second-guessing everything. What I said. Where I went. Who I talked to. How much time I spent at the bar. Eventually, I stopped making decisions unless I knew he'd approve."

I laugh quietly.

"Which is ridiculous, because I'm pretty sure I once spent twenty minutes standing in a grocery store trying to decide whether buying the expensive cereal was going to start a fight. Which it did."

Her eyes lift to mine.

"The cereal?"

"Yep."

Jay snorts.

I point at him with a wry smirk. "Don't laugh. That cereal box stressed me the fuck out."

That gets a small laugh from Dany, and some of the tension in her shoulders finally eases.

"I don't mean to make light of it," I say. "It's just... sometimes if I don't laugh about some of this stuff, I'd probably spend the rest of my life angry."

Dany nods slowly.

"I understand."

I'm not sure she does.

Not completely.

And that's okay.

She shouldn't blindly believe me just because I'm sitting in front of her telling a sad story. I wouldn't want her to.

"He said you were controlling," she says quietly.