Page 27 of A New Days Don

“N-not the first roll. I left early during the second roll because one was coming on.” I stammer, and she nods, noting some of that into the notebook on her lap.

“I believe what you were experiencing was attraction, Mila.” Annalese grins, her eyes filling with an abundance of sparkling excitement. My cheeks heat up instantly. Why is attraction so embarrassing? Is it always this embarrassing for people?

“N-No. No. It can’t be. I wasn’t– It wasn’t–” My mouth fills with saliva as my stomach churns. I can’t like someone in that way. I don’t want to.

“Mila, take some deep breaths. You are in a safe place right now.” Annalese instructs, and I follow her steady cadence until my eyes meet hers. I can feel the burn of anxious tears as she continues, “It’s okay to feel attraction. It’s completely normal. Something awful happened to you, and your mind set up walls and roadblocks that we have been working together to break down. You are recovering. You are resilient. Don’t punish yourself for feeling something as innocent as arousal or attraction for another person. Your past doesn’t have to define your present or your future.”

I take a moment to let her words seep into my mind and settle then respond, “But what if I’m still too broken?”

“I want you to look over there,” Annalese points to the mirror on the adjacent wall, and I flinch when I see the lost, haunted expression on my face, “That isn’t the look of a broken woman. That is the look of a woman who went to war both physically and mentally, who survived hell and still chose to show up for the people around her, and who, despite it all, is fighting not only for her life, but for the lives of others. You are Mila fucking Lewis. The strongest woman to ever walk through my doors. You are not too broken to build the life you deserve.”

This isn’t the first time Annalese has cursed in front of me. It’s one of the qualities that makes me so comfortable around her. She doesn’t censor herself or play an overly professional role. Instead, she allows the odd curse to go and plays on my level, explaining things and supporting me in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a sample under a microscope.

My cheeks warm and I nod, “What do I do… about it?”

“You take it one day at a time. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but that is all you can do. He may not be the right one for you, but you don’t have to punish your body or mind for taking an interest in someone for the first time in six years. Enjoy it, understand it, and accept it. Listen to your body.” Annalese says, shutting my notebook and checking her watch, “My next client is here, but I will see you later this week for our regular hour, and we can continue.”

“Thank you,” I tell her as we walk to her door together.

“I’m proud of you.”

I smile weakly at Annalese, feeling more exhausted mentally than I have in a long time. Her other client slips into her room, and she shuts the door behind them, leaving me to the silence of the hallway as I slowly shuffle toward the exit. My phone buzzes, and when I check my pocket, I cringe.

I had completely forgotten about the meeting with Lucas, a senior officer branching into detective work.

After reviewing the case files and discussing my thoughts on the killer and his escalation, Lucas was completely on board with my profile. The rest of the afternoon into the evening, we spent narrowing down possible clubs and streets that are common grounds for prostitution. The plan for this evening is to go interview them and find out how much they know about a man terrorizing the streets. Despite the limited news time this case has received, these people must know something and have insights into frequent clientele who may be less than favourable characters.

That’s how I have ended up here, nervously playing with my Kevlar vest. I spot Lucas up the darkened street, already speaking with a man who is either a dealer or a user, could be both.

I can do this. Nothing is going to happen out in the open, and I have everything I need to protect myself.

I follow my regular breathing exercises as I numbly throw myself out of the cruiser, stumbling to my feet and locking the door. I look up and down the street, trying to decide where to start. None of the men and women loiter anywhere near the cruiser, each one eying it like a ticking time bomb.

Breathe in two, three, four. Breathe out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

The night air is warm, as it always is in Vegas, but not humid. A slight breeze caresses the back of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. People shuffle by on the sidewalk, not sparing me a second glance as they quietly murmur to one another. A car drives past, not stopping or slowing down, and the man in front of me looks up from his phone. His intense stare makes me tense, but by the looks of his red-rimmed, possessive eyes, he is someone who might spend time walking these streets on the regular.

“Sir, would you have a moment to chat?” I request, and he sneers at me from below his oversized beanie.

“I ain’t no snitch, piggy. Get the fuck out of here.” He snarls at me. My heart races in my chest as his cigarette-tainted breath brushes against my face. He gnashes his yellowed teeth, and I step back.

“I’m not here to ask about your business, or anyone else’s.” I attempt to reason with the man, “All I want is to discuss the missing women and understand a bit more about who could be targeting them.”

“Get outta here!” He growls.

“Sorry to bother you.” I manage to keep my voice steady, and the evidence of my panic locked up tight. Something tells me these people can smell fear on those around them, with many of the half-dressed women avoiding my gaze and the men around them narrowing their eyes at me.

Damn… Getting information from these people is going to be harder than I thought.

Chapter 12

Massimo

What is she doing?

I watch Mila’s dot slowly progress down the street from one of my clubs, one situated in a neighbourhood with swaths of addicts high on anything they can get their hands on. I’m acutely aware of dealers, drug users, and prostitutes, who cohabitate in an ecosystem of their own on the street she so casually walks back and forth on. An ecosystem of depravity that doesn’t want the likes of police interfering in their business. She shouldn’t be down there.

I know she didn’t leave the police station alone, but the man she left with is far from capable of keeping her safe. Nobody can keep her safe the way I can.