Page 51 of Offside

“Yeah, well, now I have to be the jerk telling you I have to go–I told Sam I’d come eat with him and watch a movie.” I pouted, already missing this conversation with him.

But Sam was so bored, and he was so good to me when I was injured. He brought me food and hung out with me as often as he could–it was the least I could do.

We were like actual friends now.

“Yeah, yeah–leaving me for your other boyfriend,” he teased, making my chest tighten.

Something was off with Metal, but I couldn’t figure out what. He wasn’t really a jealous person, but he did always get snippy if I commented on how hot an actor was or something. He would agree they were attractive, but that he wasn’t attracted to them like that, followed by having a little attitude with me for twenty minutes.

But he didn’t do that with Sam.

Sam was a real-life, living and breathing human in my life that I spent all this time with alone, and he never once said anything about it. He would make jokes like that, but never actually come to me and ask for any kind of reassurance that it wasn’t true or that I didn’t like Sam like that.

That was healthy in most relationships, so I’ve been told, but not in ours. Every time Metal didn’t react to Sam in my life, my heart twisted a little more at the idea that maybe he just didn’t care that much anymore.

Maybe he didn’t look at me like I looked at him–like he was all mine.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down my want to just confront him. “I love you–I’ll call you when I’m home, and we can talk about when I can see you.”

“I can’t wait,” he said happily, almost enough that I believed him. “I love you, too.”

He can’t wait, but he also never brought it up.

He never went out of his way to ask about seeing me–it was always me. I was trying not to be, but I was starting to get a little irritated with him, as it seemed like I was the only one who cared at all.

I knew that wasn’t true, but it was how he made me feel sometimes.

Knocking on Sam’s door, I chose to wipe it all from my head. He was a really good friend to me when I was hobbling around, so coming over and keeping him company when it was his turn was the least I could do.

And besides, Sam was always happy to see me. Sam was always excited when I got there, and Sam never made me feel like I was pining for his presence more than he was for mine.

That wasn’t fair.

Sam wasn’t Metal, and he wasn’t my boyfriend, so holding him to the same standard was not fair to either of them.

“Hey, Lando,” Sam beamed, hobbling out of the way to open his door for me. “How was practice?”

“Lonely,” I mumbled, half-smiling at him as I passed. “That kid, Sean? He’s more scared of me than you were–am I that scary?”

“You’re intimidating,” he chuckled, dropping to his decidedly less comfortable couch than mine, propping his casted foot on the table. “I thought you were a vampire when I met you–thought the same thing about your mom on Christmas.”

A snicker bubbled out of me, carrying me to his kitchen to get us drinks. I tried to do things for him when I was here, so sometimes I’d clean some stuff or just get him things I knew he wanted, but wouldn't ask–like a drink.

Sam was really bad at asking for help.

“This would be a really bad time to tell you why you’ve never seen my room,” I trailed off, making a face at him as I handed him a soda. “Coffins everywhere.”

Sam let out a laugh that I just…I shouldn’t have been enjoying that much.

Maybe it was crazy, but something about talking with Sam and joking with him reminded me of Metal, but Metal from before.

Maybe things were just lighter and easier for us.

Things changed when Metal came back, and I thought it would be for the good, but honestly? He felt further away most of the time.

We didn’t do our dates as much anymore, and I spent more time with Sam than Metal these days–it…it really seemed sometimes like Metal just called me to jerk off together before Sam came over.

It kind of hurt, but I didn’t want to bring that up to Metal and risk losing him again because I was getting clingy to him.