Page 52 of Offside

Maybe nothing had really changed at all–I was probably just being dramatic.

He loved me.

“I knew you didn’t just have a vitamin D deficiency,” he fake-gasped, laughing when I smacked his chest. “Ah, come on! You love me,” he teased, smiling so wide it made my chest warm.

That probably wasn’t a feeling I should have been having for a man who wasn’t my boyfriend.

But my boyfriend also hadn’t really been making me feel like that either these days–at least not as often.

“Mhhm,” I hummed jokingly, looking away from him dramatically.

“Oh, come on! Don’t be like that–”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Just say you love me and start the movie.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Knight,” he groaned, laughing as he threw his head back.

But I didn’t laugh.

My blood ran cold, and my head went blank–surely I didn’t hear that. I just heard what I wanted to hear–I wanted to be playing with Metal like this, so that was all this was.

Right?

The apartment got so quiet, and I couldn't bring myself to look over at Sam. My eyes were locked on my hands in my lap, looking for the warp or blur that said I was dreaming or in some freaky simulation.

That it wasn’t real.

“What did you just call me?” I finally asked, finding enough bravery in me to look over at him.

And I wished I hadn’t.

Maybe I made it up, or maybe I misheard, but one look at Sam and I knew I didn’t.

His head was still back, but his eyes were closed, and his face was all scrunched up like he was chastising himself for the slip. I could see his lip tremble as he fixed his head, finally gracing me with his eyes, but they were just…sad.

Bright eyes turned dark and fearful.

Because I didn’t mishear him.

He misspoke.

“M-metal?” I asked, the words tasting like acid on my tongue, gagging me. “Right?”

Sam just froze, watching me but not saying a word. I felt sick every second he just sat there, but not because it was him.

I actually felt better knowing it was Sam.

I already loved Sam like a friend.

It was that he knew.

He knew enough to see Landon and Knight blend–enough to fuck up calling me the wrong name–he knew.

He knew, and he didn’t tell me, so what?