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lieved enough, everything would work out.
He backed away from the counter without his coffee. He’d lost his interest in it. As he walked out of the kitchen, his thoughts centered on his last conversation with Pepper. Where exactly had it all gone so wrong?
They’d been getting along so well. Laughing, talking, sharing. For the first time in his life, he’d started leaving the office at a reasonable hour. Not because he felt required to do it, but rather because he wanted to go home. He wanted to find out what Pepper had done that day. He wanted to share his day with her. Was that the way happy, committed couples felt?
He moved into the living room. Without Pepper in his life, he felt aimless. He was going through the motions, not caring about anything but figuring out how he had lost the most important woman in his life—a woman who’d brought the joy of Christmas back to him.
He bent over and turned on the tree lights. Memories of the evening they’d decorated it flashed through his mind. Things shouldn’t have ended like this.
The doorbell rang. His heart launched into his throat. Was this it? Was this his second chance? Had Pepper changed her mind?
He nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get to the door quickly. He swung it open, expecting to find Pepper, but instead his mother stood there. Her smile quickly morphed into a look of concern.
“I stopped by because I found the cutest toy for the baby.” All the while, his mother continued to take in his disheveled appearance. “Is Pepper around?”
He turned and walked away. “She’s not here.”
The door shut with a soft thud. He hoped that meant his mother had decided to go away and leave him alone with his misery. But then he heard the distinct click-click of her heels on the marble floor.
“Simon?”
He sat on a chair in the living room. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees while he stared at the floor. He couldn’t meet his mother’s gaze.
“Simon, what is going on? You’re worrying me.”
“Nothing is going on.”
“I know that we aren’t close. A fact I would like to change. But even I know you should be at the office. Instead, you are here wearing...are those your clothes from yesterday?”
He glanced at his wrinkled pants and his partially unbuttoned shirt. He hadn’t gone to bed last night, so he hadn’t seen the point in changing. Actually, his attire was the very last thing on his mind.
“If you don’t like my appearance, you can leave.” He knew he was being unduly grouchy, but he wasn’t up for his mother’s penchant for putting on a good show.
She moved to the couch and sat down. “That isn’t what I meant. I... I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I’ve been getting along by myself all of this time. I’ll be fine.” Even he didn’t believe his proclamation.
“You aren’t fine. Anyone can see that.” Her voice cracked. “And I blame myself.”
He lifted his head, surprised to find unshed tears shimmering in his mother’s perfectly made up eyes. “This has nothing to do with you.”
“Actually, I think it has everything to do with me.”
“You?” He shook his head. “Why would my relationship with Pepper have anything to do with you? She barely even knows you.”
“Because I wasn’t a good mother to you.”
His gaze met hers. He was supposed to argue with her, but words failed him. Instead, he quietly waited to hear what she had to say.
“You were the sweetest little boy.” She smiled as she moved her gaze toward the window. “You were so full of love, but your father—”
“Stop.” His self-defensive nature reared itself. “We’re not going to talk about him. I know that you’ve always blamed me for his death.”
“What?” His mother’s face took on a pained look. “No. I never blamed you.”
“Sure you did. You barely spoke to me after he was arrested and I testified against him. We’ve never been the same since.”
“And that’s because I was ashamed of myself. How could I not be when my nine-year-old son was stronger and braver than me?”
