Page 58 of A Prudent Engagement

Mrs. Gardiner squeezed Elizabeth’s shoulder. “I trust you.”

Elizabeth nodded.

The next day while sitting in the pew next to Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth had the delight of listening to her name paired with his as Mr. Miles performed the first reading of the banns.

She was conscious of the gazes of most of the other parishioners turning towards her, and she blushed, as a happy bride ought to.

If only Jane was not staring at her with that judging frown, Elizabeth was sure that her smile would have broken her face.

As it was, she still smiled but not so widely.

That evening, when they all retired to bed, Elizabeth did what she knew she ought to have done many days ago and went to Jane’s bedroom.

Knock. Knock.

The tapping sounded much louder than it usually did.

The wait until Jane replied, whether it was in fact longer than usual or not, seemed dreadfully prolonged.

Elizabeth stood in her sleeping robe and bare feet; the only light was the flickering candle that she held and the faint glow coming from under the doorways.

There was a creaking sound.

It began to seem to Elizabeth that Jane would not come to the door. That she would not open it for her. Embarrassment crept over her at having approached her sister.

Elizabeth tapped the door again and said in a low voice, “Janey, it is Lizzy.”

Another wait.

The beating of Elizabeth’s heart pounded in her ears.

At last Jane came to the door and opened it.

Her sister had been crying.

She wiped the tears away.

Elizabeth embraced her. “Jane, what is the matter?”

Jane shook her head and did not reply, but she embraced Elizabeth fiercely back.

“I have missed you,” Elizabeth said.

“I have missed you as well,” her sister replied.

They went into the room, and Jane settled onto her bed, while Elizabeth took her familiar spot in the chair before her sister’s dressing table. “Oh, Jane, you do not look happy.”

“I am content,” Jane replied immediately.

“I will not accept that,” Elizabeth said. “Your spirits have been long depressed. Oh, Jane, I do wish I could mend what ails you.”

“It is impossible,” Jane said. “But I shall be content. I shall not permit myself to waste away in uselessness. I will be content and useful.”

“Can you not find joy?”

“How can I find joy while I watch you sacrifice your happiness? Can you not see that such a sacrifice cannot be good for any of us?”

Elizabeth groaned. “Must you? Must you accuse me on this point? I assure you that I have given much thought to my own well-being. I have no concerns for myself, and I beg you to not feel any anxiety either.”