Page 38 of Only Fangs

“Oh. No. I’m fine,” she says, but she gives me this funny look that I can’t read.

We head into the flat and I show her the email, trying not to let my grin break so wide it makes me look like a fool.

She reads it and I watch as her expression goes from happy to worried in the space of seconds.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Well, they want to discuss things further. So it isn’t an outright yes.” She glances up at me.

“True. But it isn’t an outright no either.”

“There’s that Brody optimism again,” she says, but there’s an edge to her tone, like perhaps my constant attempts to put a positive spin on things isn’t the desirable quality I imagine it to be. “And they want a video appointment.”

“So? It’ll be a lot easier than having to physically go to the bank. We can just talk to them right here.” I motion around the flat.

“I can’t,” she says softly.

I pause. Oh shit. She’s right. She can’t be on camera. Fuck. Why didn’t I think of that before?

In the end I’m forced to call the bank which – given its whole raison d’être is streamlined online services – is a complete nightmare. Eventually I’m put through to Markus, who sounds thoroughly bored and disillusioned with life. I put him on speakerphone so Ari can listen in.

“You’d think he was the vampire,” Ari remarks under her breath. I put my finger vertically on my lips and she pouts back at me.

Markus informs me that if the application can’t be completed online then we would have to arrange a meeting in our local branch.

“Oh wow, well that sounds perfect,” I tell him as the light at the end of the tunnel blinks back on. We can still do this. All is not lost.

“Ha,” Markus says with a sardonic edge. “I’ve just looked at your postcode and you might not be so happy when I tell you there isn’t a branch in Exeter.”

“Oh. So where is the nearest?” I didn’t bother looking before we did the application, assuming we’d just do it all online.

“Wales.”

“As in Cardiff?” I ask hopefully. To be fair that wouldn’t be too hideous, it’s only about a two hour drive.

“As in Aberystwyth.”

“Oh.” That is literally the other side of Wales.

“Yeah. And we only do in person appointments between nine and eleven in the morning.”

I look at Ari who has pulled a face like a dog who inadvertently ate a wasp. I raise an eyebrow at her. “Road trip?”

She shrugs. “I guess…” She doesn’t sound convinced.

I clear my throat. “Well I suppose we should book one of those appointments then,” I tell Markus.

“Great. Oh. Oh dear.”

“What?”

“Well…” He drags the word out and dread fills my stomach. “The only appointment I have available in the next three months is a cancellation. It’s tomorrow at nine thirty.”

“Tomorrow? But we’re in Exeter.”

I can hear the sound of tapping in the background. “Well, alternatively I can get you an appointment in two weeks, but it’s a little further.” He sounds like he’s wincing as he says the words.

“Let me guess. Scotland?” I don’t even bother to hide the sarcasm.