Page 80 of Ravenrose

I can feel his patience thinning as the cycle repeats itself.

Again and again and again.

Until the skin on my palms and knees is raw and bloody.

Ayer’s gaze darkens with each fall. He’s irritated. I notice our pace has slowed significantly, and I know I’m the reason. But my head feels heavier and I⁠—

I fall again.

I close my eyes as I’m dragged once more through the sharp gravel of the stony path. But this time, when I try to push myself back up, my arms shake, breaking at the elbow and collapsing back down, no longer able to support my weight.

Confused, I blink at my hands in the dirt, but as I try again, the world tilts sharply to the right, and now everything is spinning.

Round and round and round…

It’s enough to make my stomach turn.

I heave, but there’s nothing there. I’ve got nothing left; I haven’t eaten in days. I let my head drop back into the dirt, closing my eyes. Just let them drag me till I’m dead, I pray. I breathe out slowly, waiting for the rope to go tight, waiting for Ayer’s patience to snap, no longer anticipating the shooting pain that will erupt from my wrists when the rope drags me off.

The pain is no longer there .

I mean, it’s still there, it’s still… everywhere, but it feels so far away, like I’ve been separated from it. A cold numbness takes over my body. I’m aware of the pain, but I no longer care.

Muffled shouts sound from up ahead.

Let them do what they want.

I’m done.

Darkness shrouds my vision, taking me under for a second, maybe longer—I’m not sure. And when I come to, I put my last drop of energy into focusing on the blurry dark shape that’s appeared in front of my eyes.

It’s Ayer.

He hovers over me, and I just blink up at him. My face is blank, and it takes me entirely too long to realize his mouth is moving. He’s saying something to me, but I can’t hear most of what he says—can’t make sense of what I do. The tether of my consciousness grows thin, the darkness edging my vision once again.

The next time my vision clears, he looks angry. His hand raises, and at the sight of it reaching back, I flinch, turning my face away, but instead of a slap, it’s a light brush of his fingers across my forehead before he pulls them back, dragging them through his own hair.

His frown deepens.

I must black out again, because the next time I come to, he’s closer—too close.

I gasp at the sight of his eyes peering into mine. They look almost unreal this close up: steel-gray, almost glinting silver in the sunlight, and ringed in onyx. Beautiful. I stare up at them, completely mesmerized as they blur into storm clouds.

Something presses lightly against my lips.

Cool.

Gloriously cool.

Water.

It’s water.

I lift my head, and he reaches underneath, propping me up higher. My head now rests in his lap, but I don’t care. I’m too busy drinking greedily, anxious to soothe that raging fire in my throat.

With each swallow, I feel a little more relief. I still feel awful, but the fuzziness in my brain lifts slightly, enough for me to hear—enough to make sense of words again.

Ayer pulls back the now empty canteen.